HEARTBREAKING, POWERFUL, IMPACTFUL. Those three words fit my reaction to the 23 boots ringing the central plaza at the Rice County Veterans Memorial in Faribault on Veterans Day. Each set of boots represented a service man or woman who committed suicide. Each boot held a name, and often a photo, personalizing this Operation: 23 to Zero display.
The nonprofit, according to an informational brochure, “is an effort to curb the massive suicide rates of veteran and military suicide through awareness and providing a network of fellow military members to connect with for help and support.” Twenty-two veterans and one active military member die by suicide daily on average.
Those statistics are heartbreaking. And when a face, a name, are connected to the numbers, the depth of this loss becomes all too real. The circle of boots in Faribault, placed their during a 23-hour Critical Overwatch on November 10-11, presented a strong visual defining this loss of life.
Among those were several Minnesotans, including Joel B. Costa, 32, of Duluth, formerly of Stillwater, and Nicole A. Burnham, 21, of Andover. As I looked at their individual boots, I read loving messages, studied a photo of Nicole, a young woman with an engaging smile that reached her eyes. And I wondered about the mental anguish the two soldiers endured.
Nicole’s story is one of multiple sexual assaults and harassment while serving in the military. Local and national media covered her story following her January 2018 death by suicide. What she experienced is horrible, unfathomable, traumatic.
I don’t know Joel’s story. But I do know this. Like Nicole, he was deeply loved. “Love you more than life” reads one message written in black marker on his boots. An “in loving memory” tag encourages: “No act of kindness is ever wasted. Pass it on.” His online obituary directs mourners to donate to Operation: 23 to Zero.
A tag on Nicole’s boots leaves a similar message: “Leave footprints of love and kindness wherever you go.” And “Stop the stigma. It’s OK to ask for help.” Help is available via texting or calling 988, the Suicide and Crisis Line, staffed 24/7.
At the Critical Overwatch event/Veterans Day ceremony in Faribault, a sign propped near the circle of boots made it clear that all are loved. “If you are looking for a sign NOT to kill yourself today—This is it. You are loved. You do belong. You are worthy.” I expect someone in the crowd gathered outside the courthouse read that message and felt a sense of hope, of purpose.
That poster reinforces the message printed in a brochure I got a while ago from Kirk Mansfield, a Navy veteran from Faribault who works tirelessly to help local veterans, primarily through Operation: 23 to Zero. Here’s the printed directive: “Call or visit your Veteran/military family and friends. Check in with them on a regular basis, especially if you know they are struggling with issues. Do not put if off until another day. For those who live on the edge of life, for those who suffer in silence, they cannot wait a moment longer. Become educated. Help where you are able. Make the call.”
Time, plus care, plus listening, plus loving, plus supporting can help. Nicole mattered. Joel mattered. And so did the 21 other service men and women represented in that circle of boots staged at the Rice County Veterans Memorial in Faribault. My heart breaks…
© Copyright 2023 Audrey Kletscher Helbling
Minnesota Prairie Roots 
yes, we can make a difference in people’s lives. it can mean the difference between living and dying, as these boots illustrate. as I read this, it was impossible not to have tears roll down my face for them, and all the others who suffer.
And you are making a difference, Beth, through your kindness and compassion. We never know how what we say or do may affect (help) someone. I am also a big advocate of simply listening.
So important
The statistic, 23 daily, is alarming and heartbreaking. Thank you for sharing this.
I am an advocate of listening too…it’s amazing how many people don’t really listen.
It is an alarming number. I fully agree that most people don’t listen. You do, which is one of the traits I value in you, my friend.
Ah, thank you. I appreciate your care and kindness, and listening skills.
🙂
What an amazing visual this must have been to see –these are lost lives that made a difference in life and now in death their lives still have such an impact. Very moving and sobering –we must do better for our military.
Displays like this make the loss real and I appreciate Kirk and the others who put together this exhibit in my community. Yes, we can do better.