“VERTIGO.” I CAN BARELY TOLERATE reading the title of the movie, considered by many to be Alfred Hitchcock’s greatest achievement. That may be so. But when Randy pulled the “Vertigo” DVD from a shelf at the local library and asked if I wanted to watch it, my response was immediate. “NO!”
Vertigo is not something I want to see depicted in a masterpiece film by the simultaneous use of forward zoom and reverse tracking shot. No, thank you. I don’t need that visual. I recently experienced extreme vertigo in real life. And that was beyond awful.
But Randy was attempting to infuse humor into my thoughts, an effort I appreciate given all I’ve been through this summer. The vertigo I experienced back in early April returned a few weeks ago, leaving me dizzy and once again feeling unbalanced. To say I felt frustrated would be an understatement. I’d made notable progress in vestibular rehab therapy, which is retraining my brain in the areas of balance, handling sensory overload and more. All of this connects to my triple diagnoses of vestibular neuronitis, Meniere’s Disease and peripheral sensory neuropathy.
To feel two instances of vertigo and like I was living in a world once again a kilter seemed like a major setback. My physical therapist chose other words: “a bump in the road.” Ryan’s right. I didn’t lose the progress I’d made, just slowed down due to that speed bump. He’s so encouraging, one of the traits I most appreciate in a deeply compassionate and caring physical therapist.
Yet, on the Friday Ryan checked me for benign paroxysmal positional vertigo and then twice performed the Epley Maneuver to move misplaced crystals in my right inner ear back in place, I wasn’t all too happy about his action plan. It was, of course, a correct and necessary procedure. It involved Ryan turning my head to the right and holding it in place while I was sitting, then lying down on my back and going through an Alfred Hitchcock-worthy scene of extreme room spinning vertigo. I gripped Ryan’s forearm with such intensity that I later joked he should receive hazard pay. Without going into more nightmarish detail, he then repeated the procedure. The second time my vertigo had lessened. And when Ryan rechecked me for vertigo a week later, it was gone.
Now I’m trying to get back on track, rebuilding my confidence in doing the assorted exercises designed to retrain my brain. These are familiar exercises, ones I’d mostly mastered before the bump in the road. I left therapy Monday afternoon feeling absolutely wiped out, though, and symptomatic. It’s going to take time for my brain to adjust to exercising.
I’m determined to work hard, to do my exercise homework, to try and live my life as best I can while managing my symptoms. I understand my limits, when I need to take breaks (including limiting screen time) and how to help calm my system. Already my balance is improving. I’m slowly beginning to feel better, to eat better. (I’ve lost 15 pounds.) And I’m overcoming my fear of vertigo returning.
But I’ll never ever watch Alfred Hitchcock’s “Vertigo.” The title triggers too many nightmarish memories.
© Copyright 2023 Audrey Kletscher Helbling
Minnesota Prairie Roots 
I haven’t had many serious health issues in my time (yet) and those were dealt with by a surgeon, a cast, or ibuprofen – and they came at me one at a time. I seriously admire your fortitude in carrying on “as best” you can while managing three debilitating illnesses at once. As for “Vertigo” – it may be Alfred’s greatest movie (?) but we’ve always enjoyed “Rear Window” more. 😉
Up until now (except for osteoarthritis and broken bones), I’ve been relatively healthy as well. So it’s quite an adjustment living with these new chronic conditions caused by a virus. There are days when I feel like I can do this, and days when I despair. I’m trying to stay positive and do what I can to improve my quality of life. As for Hitchcock, he was a master in suspenseful horror. I have not seen the film you’re referencing. And I won’t watch “Vertigo.” Ever.
I think you’d enjoy Rear Window – suspenseful but without the “V” word. 😀
I will have to look for that film in the library. Thanks for the recommendation.
I’m so sorry this happened again, it must have been one of your worst fears come to life. Ryan is right, it will not be a straight path to recovery, but keep heading in that direction. I had been reading about a procedure our hospital is doing that matches what you described to help people in the throes of vertigo. together, you are Ryan will help your body to regain it’s strength and it must seem like a long and frustrating process but all worth it in the end. glad you’re not surrendering to it and I can see why that film would be your worst nightmare to watch.
I’m trying to maintain and manage as best I can. It’s not always easy. But I am incredibly thankful for a supportive professional like Ryan an for the love and support of friends and family.
I had vertigo twice when I was a young adult. It was likely related to an off-centered bite, which led to me getting braces at 28. That helped a great deal since I haven’t had it return. As I have stated several times to people that asked about it — I wouldn’t wish that on anyone, not even my worst enemy.
Sorry you had to deal with it again, and I’m so glad you are once again back to improvement.
Like you, I wouldn’t wish vertigo on anyone. I’m sorry you had to experience it, but thankful the issue was resolved. I’m slowly moving back to my exercise program as I regain my balance.
I’m sorry about the vertigo symptom. My mother gets vertigo, so I’m aware of the misery.
I’m sorry your mom deals with vertigo. It can be debilitating if frequent. Thankfully mine has not been horrible, at least during the actual event. It was the Epley Maneuvers to correct the vertigo that caused extreme vertigo.
That’s definitely Murphy’s Law in action.
Uh huh.
So hard to feel you’re going backwards. Thankful that you’re seeing improvement again.
It’s frustrating and hard. But I think I’m back on track as I enter month five of vestibular rehab therapy.
I like “a bump in the road” – probably a good reminder to all of us at times to just sloooowwww down 🙂 I know I need that reminder at times with the go, go, busy, busy, et. al. Let your cape fly my friend (let your inner super hero out) and go strong – Wishing you the BEST (((((((loveandhugs))))). Take It Easy and Take Care.
Thanks for the super hero encouraging visual. I appreciate your care and support as I fly onward.
You already know some of Gary’s experiences with vertigo. Not fun! It seems you are doing all you can to bring healing, including prayers…mine included. 😉
I do appreciate the many prayers. On Saturday I had a young woman pray for me in an antique shop in Faribault. She was shopping for a dress for her wedding rehearsal dinner and we got talking after I offered to give my opinion on the three dresses she was trying on. I helped her zip the dresses. She told me I looked great and I replied I wished I felt great. That led to a brief summary of what I have going on and she asked if she could pray for me. It was an incredible moment of profound care and love, an experience I shall always treasure. Her name was Angela and she was an angel ministering to me on that afternoon.
What a beautiful story. I do believe Angela was an angel!
I do, too. She was remarkable in every way. I felt honored to help her with those dresses, too. She called me a “light in her day.”
I’ve had vertigo twice – the last time on my final PT appointment for sciatica back in March. My therapist took it right in stride, said, “oh, I know what to do for that,” and voila. The hardest part was keeping my eyes open so he could tell when the spinning stopped. Just for the record, I won’t be watching Vertigo either! Onward.
Kathleen, I’m sorry you’ve experienced vertigo also and had to go through the Epley Maneuver. I struggled to keep my eyes open also as the natural inclination is to close one’s eyes and shut out the spinning room. Ryan was incredibly patient and encouraging in getting me through that horrible vertigo-inducing procedure.
Your journey continues.praying for your 100% recovery!
Thank you. Today is difficult. Awoke at 5 am with ear pain and it has continued off and on all day. Plus I’m feeling more unbalanced. Thus it goes. Good days and then not so good…
I’m so sorry you’ve had another set back but I do like that the bump in the road comparison. You’re helping yourself by doing the physical therapy.
Also wouldn’t watch the movie. Birds was bad enough
Thanks for your encouragement. And, yes, I fully agree about the Birds film.