Minnesota Prairie Roots

Writing and photography by Audrey Kletscher Helbling

An unlikely solution to the Minnesota government shutdown July 5, 2011

MY EXTENDED FAMILY likes to have fun, so we plotted this weekend to overthrow the Minnesota state government. Not to worry. We are all talk and no action.

But we definitely have ideas about who could run the state given the current legislature and governor can’t seem to handle the task of agreeing on a budget. That would be us. (Yes, the general feeling was a definite frustration with the current state government shutdown.)

Therefore, in a discussion that spiraled into hilarity, we overthrew the governor and put all of our people in place, most of us choosing to head up a state department based on our interests and experiences.

We also agreed that one of our first subversive, defiant acts would be to clamber onto the golden horses atop the state Capitol.

The golden horses and chariot atop the Minnesota State Capitol.

I’m heading up communications, a job I’m uncertain I can handle because I’ve been instructed to deliver only a positive spin on every bit of state government news.

The educators in the family were appointed to the Department of Education, the daycare provider to the Department of Health and Human Services. My eldest brother, by age default, became the new governor.

The outdoor-loving summer parks worker now manages the Department of Natural Resources. He’s always wanted to hunt alligators, so he’s bringing alligators to Minnesota.

Then the newly-appointed finance director, a family member pursuing an accounting degree, suggested that rather than return the alligators to Florida in the winter, we move them into the sewer system. We readily embraced that idea.

We didn’t debate the cost of an alligator hunting license.

But there may have been an unspoken agreement to lock current Minnesota Governor Mark Dayton and the legislators in a room with a contingent of angry, jaw-snapping alligators Minnesotans.

DISCLAIMER: The above story represents my version of the family political discussion and may not be representative of all family members. However, I am the Director of Communications here at Minnesota Prairie Roots. Therefore I am free to spin this story however I wish.

© Copyright 2011 Audrey Kletscher Helbling

 

4 Responses to “An unlikely solution to the Minnesota government shutdown”

  1. Amy Says:

    If this were Facebook, I would click the “like” button! It reminds me of what would come up at holidays with my dad’s family. One Christmas we were playing Apples to Apples with about 20 people and we had to explain to my uncle what a kilt was and then the discussion ensued as to whether or not one wears underwear with one and during what activities it would be beneficial…..you can probably imagine!

    Memories are great!

    • Audrey Kletscher Helbling Says:

      Oh, but Amy, there is a “like” button somewhere on my posts to click. Don’t ask me how it works, but I know others have chosen “like” for past posts.

      I will have more stories to share of our family gathering activities. Hilarious stuff. Of course, I can’t tell all.

  2. Bernie Says:

    Your first line made me giggle. The fact you guys are all talk and no action. *lol*
    What a clever way for the family to solve the shut-down. *lol* I can see why you are in charge of communication.


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