Minnesota Prairie Roots

Writing and photography by Audrey Kletscher Helbling

Mourning January 19, 2022

Filed under: Uncategorized — Audrey Kletscher Helbling @ 5:00 AM
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Mom in the room at her care center, where she was in hospice. (Minnesota Prairie Roots copyrighted file photo July 2021)

SHE DIED ON THURSDAY EVENING. My mom, 89, the woman who birthed me and cared for me and set an example of kindness, faithfulness, love and compassion that I strive to emulate.

I feel simultaneously sad and thankful. Sad because I’ve lost my mom. Grateful because she is no longer struggling to breathe, to manage pain, to endure all the challenges of a body in failing health. She is at peace now. In heaven. Reunited with loved ones. With her Lord. That comforts me.

Because I have yet to see Mom in death, my grief seems stifled. Not yet unleashed. I have not experienced a crying-my-eyes-out moment over her death. Over other matters, yes. But the uncontrollable tears of mourning will come. Soon.

In these first days of decisions and stressors and sleepless nights and exhaustion so extensive I wonder how I can function, I press on. Soon things will settle and reality will arrive like an unwelcome visitor. And when that happens, I will be ready. Sort of. I recognize that losing one’s mother is unlike any other loss in its profoundness.

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For now, my posting may be irregular. I promise a future post in which I share more about my dear sweet mother.

© Copyright 2022 Audrey Kletscher Helbling

 

57 Responses to “Mourning”

  1. JanBeek Says:

    My heart goes out to you, Audrey. You are so right, losing your mom is unlike any other loss. I do understand your mixed feelings – especially since she was in pain and life was a struggle for her. I am grateful for your faith and assurance of eternity where we all will be rejoined one day. God bless and comfort you. ❤

  2. Jane Larson Says:

    Eloquently and beautifully written. Thank you for sharing this deeply personal moment. Praying for our Lord to uphold you in his righteous right hand as you mourn the loss of your mother.

  3. Beverly A Walker Says:

    Audrey, I am so sorry for the grief you are having but have the comfort that she no longer suffers and is reunited with your dad and all her family who have gone before her. Aunt Arlene was a wonderful sweet lady!!

  4. I am so very sorry for your loss. It is “weird” time as I call it. That time after the loss of the last parent. I found myself alternating between so many emotions — none of it seeming real. You and your family continue to be in my prayers as you are on one of the most difficult journeys ever. All my love, Audrey.

  5. I am so sorry to hear you loss your mom. Sending prayers and love my friend to you and your family. Take Care

  6. Barbara A Wegner Says:

    Audrey & family, peace be with you at this time!

  7. jenniferlundstromhdez Says:

    I’m so sorry, Audrey, to hear of the loss of your dear mother. With your words over the years of following your blog, I feel that I have come to know her, in a way. Your words honor her, and I truly hope that in time, these same memories will give you comfort. Wishing you peace and strength.

    • Jennifer, thank you for your condolences and for stating that you’ve grown to know my mom through the years via my writing. I appreciate that sentiment. Mom was truly one of the kindest and most loving individuals I’ve ever known. Every facet of her exuded care for others. I will eventually share my last memory with her. It is one I will treasure forever and a blessing beyond measure.

  8. dalmatianangel Says:

    Audrey,
    I’m so sorry for the loss of your mom. It’s so hard to lose her.
    Prayers for you and your family.

  9. Ann Vohs Says:

    Dearest Audrey,
    May God give you peace and comfort in your time of sorrow. I’m thinking of you and your family as you prepare, travel and celebrate your mother.

  10. COLLEEN HONDL GENGLER Says:

    I am so sorry to hear your mother has passed away. It is difficult; no doubt you will think of her every day. My sympathy and prayers.

  11. Susan Ready Says:

    Audrey, sorry for your loss and prayers to you and your family. My mom be at peace and all of you find comfort in the shared memories of good times.

  12. Bernadette Arlene Thomasy Says:

    My sympathy on the loss of your mother. Praying you will find strength and comfort from your family and friends through this difficult time.

  13. Becky Richie Says:

    Sending heartfelt sympathy and prayers to you and your family.

  14. Valerie Says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss…and continuing to pray for you and your family, and the upcoming funeral.

  15. Judy Says:

    I am sincerely sorry about the loss of your lovely mother, my heart hurts for you and with you. Praying for you and your family.

  16. SherriH Says:

    Audrey, my deepest sympathies to you. Losing your mom is one of the hardest losses there is, which I know from experience. My mom passed 11 years ago and I still think of and miss her every day. I still “talk” to her and sometimes I believe I hear her answer. You mentioned not having that deep, sobbing crying session yet; I think it will come — possibly when you least expect it, when something, a few months from now, triggers a memory — happy or sad or even mundane — and the tears will flow. And then you’ll feel better. May you have many good memories and friends surrounding you right now.

  17. widsgal Says:

    I’m sorry to hear about your mom. I lost my 92 year old mom this year as well. She ran a faithful race. She left a legacy of love. And she is finally home. She left this earth in peace knowing that Jesus Christ her Savior had won her soul for eternity. She knew Him and bore the resemblance of Him. I know one day I’ll see her again in all her glory.
    Amazing grace how sweet the sound…She went on to her eternal reward. All of heaven rejoiced. Our loss. Her gain.

  18. D Says:

    Oh so sorry. Please keep all the good memories close in the days ahead.

  19. I’m just so sorry Audrey, continued prayers for peace as you face the days ahead without your dear mom!

  20. Audrey, I’m so sorry for your loss. 💔

  21. Bruce Kletscher Says:

    I’m sorry to hear about your loss. Please accept my sincere condolences. At times like this I always find comfort in the Gospel of John, chapters 14 and 15. Hopefully you can find some small solace in them as well.

    • Bruce, thank you for reaching out to me with your sympathy and also for referencing those chapters in John. I just read them and they definitely are of comfort.

      In addition to the death of my mom, my cousin Randy (Harold and Marilyn Kletscher’s second son) died unexpectedly on Saturday. He was only 50 and leaves behind a wife and 8-year-old daughter. His funeral is tomorrow at St. John’s in Vesta. It’s been a difficult week for the Kletscher family. I am thankful for the faith (of forefathers) that sustains us, especially in times of grief. Again, thank you for reaching out to me. I appreciate it.

  22. Tami Resler Says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss, Audrey. That’s a major loss. Hugs!

  23. Laurine Jannusch Says:

    I am deeply sorry for your loss. She was a Christian example to us all. I know her life was not easy, but she modeled a positive acceptance of life’s ups and downs, and lived her Christian faith. My deepest condolences to your whole family.. God be with you all and bring you His comfort…Laurine Jannusch

  24. Condolences from here. Hugs and love in your moments of grief.

  25. Ruth Says:

    Thinking of you Audrey and keeping you close in my heart. She raised a wonderful daughter! You!

  26. Charles Paul Ziegler Says:

    I am very sorry for your loss. Stay well!

  27. Judith Rowe Says:

    So sorry for your sad loss, Audrey. Your love for her shines through your writing, and her very sweet face makes me think she was dearly loved all her long life. I hope you can take comfort in the memory of her love for you.

  28. Sandra Says:

    Audrey – you used several lovely pictures of you and Arlene for 2021 Mother’s Day, such a strong resemblance. Arlene is such a strong name, I know several. Another lovely in her obituary. 89. whew. As I approach 80…a dear friend since 5th gr. Girl Scouts and I caught a movie yesterday. We’ve shared many a funeral pew. I’m sure at Sat.’s funeral, you were surrounded by support. But there’s only “one Mom”. You do her – and your Dad – proud. God’s Peace to you…and Mom. (It is an emotional roller coaster)


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