ANYONE WHO IS A GRANDPARENT will tell you it’s the best. That includes me, grandmother of two. Grandparents have all the fun of parenting minus the everyday challenges of raising children. We are also witness to much, sort of like observers of “Kids Say the Darndest Things.” Remember that original long ago TV series by Art Linkletter in which he interviewed kids and they answered quite honestly, hilariously?
Recently, my grandson celebrated his fifth birthday with a small party that included Randy and me (his other grandparents live in Arizona), his paternal aunt and uncle, and his older sister and parents. His other aunt and uncles live too far away.
As we gathered in the living room to watch Isaac open his gifts, I felt the love that enveloped this little boy. He was so excited as kids are wont to be about birthdays. But then if I had a pile of gifts at my feet and I was only five, I might get excited, too.
Tearing into the packages, Isaac didn’t hide his feelings. When he opened a space sticker book from Opa and Oma, he stopped and was about to start sticking stickers…until his mom politely reminded him that he should open his other gifts first. It was clear he loved the sticker book.
But he didn’t love the red amaryllis bulb I gave him to plant. In fact, Isaac tossed the box to the side while I hastily tried to explain to him what was inside. “I don’t like flowers!” he said, this the boy who last summer seeded flowers, tended flowers, delighted in every bloom and earned the name Farmer Isaac. Maybe my grandson will change his attitude when the amaryllis blooms in about two months.
He also tossed aside a pom pom animal craft kit. He loves doing arts and crafts and goes through so many colored magic markers that Crayola should have a rewards program for his parents.
Thankfully Isaac liked the thick pack of multi-colored construction paper and the 3-in-1 space shuttle LEGO set Randy and I gave him. Before we left the party, he’d already assembled the shuttle and told me I should give all of his Uncle Caleb’s LEGOs to him. Alright then. I would need to clear that with my son.
It was Caleb’s gift, though, that had all of us erupting in laughter. Not because it was anything unusual or humorous. Rather, it was simply cash in a card. Isaac ripped open the envelope, pulled out the substantial monetary gift and flew out of the room and upstairs to his bedroom, bills clutched tightly in his hand. No one was going to get his money.
And then there was the bakery birthday cake, chocolate and frosted in bold hues, as vivid as any frosting I’ve ever seen. Isaac wanted blue frosting accented by a rainbow of colors to match the Numberblock theme of his party. “Numberblock” is an animated children’s series that teaches kids math skills via adventures. I’ve never seen it. My grandson, a math whiz, has and also has the toys spun off from the show. Ask him a math problem and he can likely solve it. I’m not talking simple addition and subtraction, but rather multiplication and other math problems well beyond his just-turned-five years. Did I mention that his dad is a math major and an actuary?
Back to that blue cake. The blue coloring of the frosting was much darker than Isaac’s mom expected. As we forked the heavily frosted cake into our mouths, our lips, tongues and teeth turned blue. The birthday boy never complained. But there was some quick wiping of teeth by adults and of the kitchen counter before the blue dye stained surfaces.
Hours after we left the party, my daughter texted with a message from Isaac. “I forgot to tell the birthday comers thank you,” he told his mom. Awwww. Melted this grandma’s heart, negating the tossed amaryllis “I don’t like flowers!” moment. Kids truly do say the darndest things.
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TELL ME: I’d like to hear a “kids say the darndest things” quote from you. Let’s laugh this morning.
© Copyright 2024 Audrey Kletscher Helbling
Minnesota Prairie Roots 
oh my gosh! it sounds like he had a wonderful birthday celebration, but couldn’t even contain his excitement and emotions, and kids just always say exactly what’s in their head at the moment. everyone had a great time even when they didn’t turn out as expected, even with blue teeth, and when the joy of a wonderful present won’t be realized until later. the phone call just the icing on the cake – and no teeth stain. )
Isaac’s party was wonderful in every way! I bet you could write a book on what your little people have said to you.
I just love the things they do and say, they never fail to amaze and amuse me.
Oh Isaac. That’s a classic. Several months ago our little Theo was eating some ribs. He was chewing and chewing. After a bit he asked his dad what the chewy stuff was. Micah responded “cartilage”. After a couple more deliberate chews , Theo looked at Micah and said “I love cartilage!” Classic and it has become something we say randomly all the time now.
That frosting is VIVID. I can image the lips on you guys! 😊
Now that’s quite the Theo story.
OMW and then some – that blue frosting – YIKES! I still remember my nephew stating that he was wise to us and demanded presents for his birthday (Dec. baby) and Christmas and not combined at Christmas. Such a cheeky monkey and still is – ha! I cannot believe how fast your grandbabes are growing up – blink and little people. Happy Day – Enjoy 🙂
What a brilliant cheeky monkey nephew you have. Love him already just reading your story.
When Ethan was younger, we never talked politics or world events in front of him. He hated seeing violence of any kind on TV, etc.. One evening I was watching the news and Ethan, around 7 years old, walked by and said, “Is that man running for president? (Pointing to Donald Trump)”. I said yes. “Well I don’t trust him.” I asked him why? He said, “Anyone who combs their hair the way he does is a liar.”
Out of the mouths of babes.
Yup, from the mouths of babes, pure, unfiltered honesty.
Sounds like a fun party. Brings back memories of all of our grandson’s parties. My husband was sitting next to the fireplace, when our four year grandson stepped up on the hearth and could see grandpa’s bald spot, he exclaimed , “grandpa you have a hole in your hair!” We still chuckle about that moment.
That’s hilarious. Thanks for sharing this funny story. I understand why it’s retold as part of your family’s history.
That is one intense birthday cake!
A quote from Ezra (shortened story)…After a harried morning we settled into the car for a short roadtrip and I turned and asked the grandkids if they were all settled and comfortable…Ezra (4 at the time) said “I’d be more comfortable with a donut.” Of course, Grandma went to get some donuts. We say that line a lot now.
Thanks for sharing that quote from then 4-year-old Ezra. He’s definitely on to something there. Donuts can only make a harried morning better. I love that this is now a part of your family language and history.
Because Lucy used to say the cutest things ever, we’re going to include them somehow in her graduation party in 2025! Here’s one that popped up in my “Facebook memories” last week: “I just realized, Mom. You’re not 44 anymore. You’re closer to 50.” She must have seen a funny look cross my face because she added, “But that’s not a very big number.” She was 7 years old.
What a great idea to incorporate memorable Lucy quotes into her grad party. But how can she possibly be graduating in 2025? You’re not THAT old!
Lol. No, I certainly am not. Impossible!
A few years ago my dear Miss B granddaughter had a sleepover at Grandma’s house. I prayed a bedside prayer with her and tucked her in. “I want to pray, too, Grandma,” she said. OK. “Dear God, there are a few more things you need to know about . . . .” is how it started. I was laughing too hard, but silently, to hear what it was she thought I had forgotten to tell God about.
What a precious story. Love this!
Loved the show “Kids Say the Darndest Things”! Their interests change so fast, hopefully your sweet Isaac will enjoy the bulb when it blooms. A few years back out grandchildren were helping us clean the garage. Instead of working, they decided to put on a ‘concert’, using baseball bats as microphones. Granddaughter, was 6, started singing about each thing we were doing, using lots of descriptive words. Grandson who was only 3, and not to be outdone, started singing in his loudest, most expressive voice, “OOHH II LLOOVVEE YYOOUU, II DDDOO!” (oh, I love you, I do). It was the cutest, I have bits of it recorded.
I can just picture that garage band, hear the singing, feel the joy. Thank you, Rose, for sharing this beautiful story.
Hi Audrey,
From what I’ve heard & read this a.m. winter has arrived with a flourish in your neck of the woods.
My youngest brother is 14 years younger than I & I will relate a couple of his “darndest remarks.
Our home was a 2 story & the 2nd floor had been converted to 2 1 bedroom apartments. When my
maternal grandmother past my grandfather moved to Redwood Falls & lived in one of those apartments.
He always ate dinner with us but prepared his own breakfast & supper. We had our dinner at noon.
David, my brother, would occasionally join him for a meal. One time he informed my mother that
Grandpa made better pancakes than she did because he used spry instead of Crisco! Grandpa was
Also the gardener & David would sometimes be his sidekick. Upon finding worms in the garden
Grandpa asked David if they should save them for fishing. David reply was a question. ”Don’t you think they
have a family?” David was a cowboy & therefore never wanted to wear shorts or flannel lined jeans
because a cowboy would never wear them.
Happy birthday Isaac!
David was quite the sharp, entertaining and quick-witted brother. Thanks for sharing these amusing stories.