SURGERY. Most of us would rather not hear that word when it comes to our health. But sometimes surgery is necessary. I’ve had surgery nine times in my lifetime. I’m currently four weeks out from my second bilateral strabismus eye surgery (the first was at age four) to realign my misaligned eyes. Healing and recovery are progressing.
Today’s post, though, is not about recovery, but rather about my January 22 surgery day. As a creative, I have stories to tell about my experiences at M Health Fairview Clinics and Surgery Center. Admittedly, I felt anxious as Randy and I aimed north along Interstate 35 to the surgery center about an hour away on the campus of the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis. I detest metro traffic, which added to my pre-surgery anxiety. But on this morning, traffic was not horrible.
Waiting is always the hard part. I waited at check-in behind an angry patient. We’d ridden the same elevator to the fifth level, but she got ahead of me because she knew where she was going. I did not. And so I had to stand there listening to her spew about how she’s never been called about whatever. Her voice volume increased. I felt increasingly frustrated by this hostile woman who should have taken her complaints elsewhere, not to the surgery check-in desk. She was not there for surgery. Finally, I bypassed her to another check-in station, wondering if the first employee would need to call security. This was not off to a good start.
I settled onto a green upholstered chair in a spacious room filled with people, most on their phones, waiting. A bank of tall windows revealed a sunny day. I heard persistent coughing on the other side of a waiting room half-wall, somewhat worrisome to me. I’d been screened for COVID symptoms, but Randy and other caregivers weren’t. That is typical of clinic screenings, it seems. But I digress.
Eventually, after I’d people-watched, tried to work a crossword puzzle, studied abstract fabric artwork, Tatenda called me to begin the process of preparing for surgery. That started with basic questions followed by depression screening. I am thankful this screening is now routine in healthcare and I told Tatenda that. And then I added, “But you didn’t ask about anxiety.” Anyone who says they aren’t anxious about surgery is, in my opinion, not being truthful. Thankfully, Tatenda and others who cared for me understand pre-surgery anxiety and helped ease mine.
There was one point, though, when I had to dig deep mentally to stop myself from fleeing a small room where I waited alone for the next step in surgery prep. Tatenda handed me a lavender paper gown, instructing me to change into that and pull on a pair of purple socks. Then she left. Do. Not. Leave. Me. Alone. I expected her back quickly. As the minutes ticked by, I felt my anxiety rising. I was cold, shivering almost, hugging my folded legs to my body for warmth. The over-sized, one-size-fits-all paper gown that smelled to me of antiseptic provided zero warmth. Maybe I should have wrapped it around my slim body twice. I attempted to calm myself by repeating the words of Psalm 46:10: Be still…be still…be still…
Eventually nurse Amanda arrived and connected a hose to my lovely lavender gown, a hose that blew air inside to either warm or cool me. She explained how I could turn a switch to adjust the temperature. It was a game-changer not only for my comfort level, but also in giving me control. Of. Something.
As Amanda searched and poked twice for an adequate vein to start an IV, we talked. Conversation distracts me. This nurse, the same age as my eldest daughter, and I chatted about her hometown of Potosi, Wisconsin, where I’ve been to the brewery; our love of La Crosse (and The Pearl ice cream shop); motorcycles; and then how I met Randy and where we went on our first date. “Stir Crazy,” I replied. The movie starring Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder. Amanda said she would ask Randy the same when she brought him to see me shortly before surgery. When he answered “Blazing Saddles” to the first date question, I told Amanda that he was an imposter, that she needed to find my real husband. We laughed. Humor helps.
Once Amanda left, the anesthesiologist and neuro ophthalmologist surgeon arrived for last-minute briefings and questions. I was ready. Soon I was being wheeled down a hallway toward the operating room. I remember nothing until I awoke 1 ½ hours later in recovery. That is another story…please check back for more storytelling.
TELL ME: If you’ve had surgery, how did you cope with pre-surgery anxiety? How did others help ease your anxiety right before surgery?
© Copyright 2024 Audrey Kletscher Helbling
Minnesota Prairie Roots 
it makes all the difference in the world to have people helping to get you ready, who are caring, kind, tell you the little tips to make it easier, and distract and calm you with their presence and conversation. I’m glad that you had those people, even though they weren’t around at the beginning of your day
I fully agree. I had a kind and compassionate healthcare team that was there for me before, during (although I don’t remember “during”) and after surgery.
anxiety is real in situations like this. Sounds like you had a great nurse in Amanda and I am grateful for that.
Amanda was so so kind. As were all the other team members.
You are so right. you have captured all my concerns when I go to surgery. waiting is the hardest and being cold is the next issue. kind nurse and reassuring Dr always helps. its interesting that you can spot a good nurse by her first words to you. That always help calm me but relying on God for His calmness helps as well. He is always with us watching over us and He is our rear guard! Pretty well protected I would say. So glad you made it through with flying colors!!! lov kathy
I really did have a compassionate care team. You will read more about them in my follow-up post next week. I figure if you’re not kind and compassionate, then perhaps you shouldn’t be in healthcare. And, yes, God assuredly carried me through this surgery. The words of Psalm 46:10 always calm me. I appreciate you and your love, Kathy.
Great that you spoke up about anxiety because that is real for a lot of people. Obviously for surgeries but just going to a medical office can be stressful, make one anxious, and goodness if someone in your space is having a bad day. Just navigating the parking lot, finding your location within a building, and then the waiting begins and sometimes multiple times. Great to hear you are doing well and taking care of yourself and have Randy to help you out too. Take Care (((((loveandhugs))))))
Thank you, Renee. I think my anxiety was elevated, too, because of the type of surgery. Having surgery on one’s eyes is somewhat daunting because it’s your vision. I had full confidence in my surgeon, so it wasn’t that. Most of my other surgeries have been done locally, which I much prefer to going out of town. But I needed a specialist to align my eyes, so up to the Cities I went.
Surgery on the eye’s is top level anxiety for sure because vision and maintaining the health of vision is important. I have had issues with my hands and that was anxiety inducing and frustrating at times especially when mobility and movement is very limited all of sudden. You have a GREAT support team!
I’m sorry you’ve had issues with your hands. Did you need surgery or have the issues resolved? Yes, any surgery is scary and certain ones more than others.
Thankfully no surgeries just healing time! I have a feeling the two fingers that were injured that have healed may cause problems down the road as I age due to the trauma and scar tissue.
I think you’re probably right on problems down the road. I’ve found that to be true as I’ve aged and I’m much older than you.
Whoa, my eye surgery procedures were so different. Quickly in, was able to keep half my clothes on, bottom half, and the anesthesiologist moved me quickly into twilight once I was wheeled into the surgery room. Surgery was only about 20 minutes and I awoke about an hour and half later.
Yeah, bilateral strabismus eye surgery is a bit more involved and challenging than eye surgeries most people have. I feel thankful for skilled surgeons who can do such surgeries.
Absolutely agree!
As a nurse who worked pre and post surgical for years and a proceduralist who encountered high anxiety patients prior to Lumbar punctures, I GET the anxiety and always tried to reassure my patients! They always left wishing they hadn’t been so anxious, they we’re thankful for my kind words and laid-back, reassuring personality. On the other hand as a patient myself, I have experienced a little anxiety. I think it helps to be in the medical profession as you kind of know the ropes, and what to expect! How is your eye doing now? I hope your healing is going well and it’s what you expected.
Jackie, thanks for sharing your insights both as a patient and a professional. Knowing you, I know you were a great help and comfort to the many patients in your care. You are kind, loving, gentle and with so many other attributes that make for a compassionate nurse AND person. I agree that understanding and knowledge are helpful. I tried to inform myself in advance, but not enough to scare myself. As Randy advised me, “Do not watch a video online of bilateral strabismus surgery.” I didn’t. He started watching one, then promptly stopped.
My healing and recovery are progressing. This takes time, up to four months for my vision to finally settle. I can tell my brain is working hard to adjust. I tire more easily. And some of my neurological symptoms from long haul COVID have returned. My brain has managed, is managing, a lot. My double vision is mostly gone, which was the goal. It still pops up sometimes when I’m overtired. I need to pace myself better and not do too much. Thanks for asking.
I had similar experiences recently! Pre-surgery anxiety was caused by not knowing what time I was to check in the day of outpatient surgery, until the day before. This was not helpful, as I needed to arrange a ride and after-surgery care.
At check-in, only my companion and I wore face masks. One of the 2 check-in staff sneezed loudly when I was the next in line. Thank goodness the other check-in staff beckoned me over.
Then to the surgery center, where again, no staff or patients were wearing face masks. The waiting room was quite full. Someone coughed. My companion and I, both at risk for COVID complications, lingered at the very back of the room, taking advantage of a suggestion box to vent our rage over the lack of face mask usage.
I, too, was left alone for some time, when it seemed the staff were in the still in the middle of my prep. I was thankful that my preposterous paper gown had been connected to that wonderful heating/cooling device, and played with that for a bit.
My nurse was chatty and had a wonderful sense of humor, so that helped a lot. She, too, had a challenge when it came to starting an IV; the first jab met up with a valve that would not give way.
Before long, I was rolling down the corridor, and as some people turned to look, I pretended to be in a parade, and began waving. How silly! Must have been the drugs. We entered a corridor where the air got chilly, and I don’t recall anything more.
When I came to, I was dreaming (?) that I was opening a series of e-mails, each containing nonsensical, obscure content. How odd.
Thank you for sharing your surgery story. First, your last two paragraphs made me laugh aloud. As far as I know, I didn’t say, do or dream anything odd. But I bet healthcare providers have heard everything.
Secondly, I’m sorry you weren’t informed more in advance of your check-in time. My surgery time was changed several days before surgery. I was not expecting that, but we were flexible and I was actually thankful for the earlier arrival time. But I can see where last-minute notification presents planning challenges.
It’s surprising to me that staff at the medical facility you went to were not wearing face masks. I’m sorry. I can understand why you were upset given your risks if you get COVID. I am in that same category. Thankfully all staff were wearing masks at my surgery center. The waiting area at M Health is also spacious, with high ceilings, etc. I didn’t feel like I was sitting there on top of everyone else. Chairs were spaced around the room also.
It sounds like we shared similar experiences with waiting alone and then feeling grateful for that device blowing warm/cool air into our gowns.
I hope you’re healing and feeling better. Thank you again for sharing your story.
I really dislike that period of time when you’re locked in the room completely vulnerable, and waiting. I tend to say “BE STILL” over and over again at those times as well.
I don’t remember much of my one pre surgery experience. I had been in the process of miscarrying our third child for almost a week before the blood loss became so much that I passed out. I remember being terrified and counting backwards, and then I remember waking up and feeling noticeably better.
I am deeply sorry for the loss of your dear baby. That is a heart-wrenching grief. Not only did you face surgery, but you were also in emotional distress over losing your third child. I am thankful you had/have your faith to carry you in difficult times like this. Many hugs to you. And thank you for sharing your story.