A view of the Minneapolis skyline from Interstate 35 on a light traffic day. Minnesota Prairie Roots file photo.
SELDOM DO MY HUSBAND and I venture into the Twin Cities.
I abhor the heavy traffic rocketing down the interstate, especially that one crazy driver who weaves from lane to lane.
I detest the Interstate 35W/Interstate 494 interchange, which throws our vehicle into the midst of a dodge ball game. I am not a nail biter. But, at this juncture, I bite my nails as my husband tries to merge into near bumper-to-bumper traffic on I-494 before the right lane ends.
You get the picture. Mostly, we stay out of the metro, unless we need to drive to Fargo where the son attends North Dakota State University or we need to visit our eldest daughter in south Minneapolis or the in-laws, most of whom live north of the metro.
An edited cell phone snapshot of Kellogg Boulevard shot from the skyway into the Xcel Energy Center.
But last Saturday we had to travel to St. Paul for the Trans-Siberian Orchestra concert at the Xcel Energy Center. I’d rather motor toward St. Paul any day given the traffic (at least when we’ve driven there) in the capitol city seems less rushed, less dense (you can take that word “dense” either way) than in Minneapolis.
A file photo of the stunning Minnesota state Capitol in St. Paul.
I also appreciate the less urban feel of St. Paul versus Minneapolis. I expect this assessment, right or wrong, stretches back to my childhood knowledge of St. Paul as the home of the state Capitol and the South St. Paul Stockyards and Minneapolis as the location of the Foshay Tower.
Both of the Twin Cities can be seen in this view taken from the state Capitol. You can see the downtown Minneapolis skyline in the distance to the left. Minnesota Prairie Roots file photo.
Alright, I probably should not stir up a battle between the Twin Cities here. That is not my intent. Rather, I want to share a little story from our recent foray into St. Paul. The eldest daughter’s boyfriend lives and works there, so we stopped after the Trans-Siberian Orchestra concert to see his apartment and then dine out at Cafe Latte.
That visit to a sprawling apartment complex across from Mears Park brought the first odd moment of the evening. During the elevator ride to the underground parking garage, a young woman stepped inside and promptly pressed herself into a corner, her back to the four of us. I was so stunned by her strange behavior that I remember thinking “What is wrong with her?” and “Should I say anything?” I noticed only her long auburn-dyed locks, her knee-high boots and the paper towels crammed into a plastic bag gripped in her right hand. I never saw her face.
Should I have spoken to her?
The second unusual moment came when we were dining at the Cafe Latte along historic Grand Avenue. While savoring my tasty asparagus chicken stew and smokey turkey pasta salad, I noticed a football-player-sized man peddling M & Ms directly outside the cafe’s front door. Anyone trying to enter Cafe Latte would have to weave around the man blocking the entry. Many diners pulled bills from their wallets. By the time we finished our meal, the mysterious Candy Man had vanished.
Who was this Candy Man? And would you have purchased M & Ms from him?
Finally, on our way back to the daughter’s car, parked in a ramp just off Grand, we encountered a woman who’d been standing inside the ramp entry before we ate. This time, upon our return, she asked, “Can you spare $1.75 for bus fare?” None of us reached into our billfolds.
Should we have given this woman money? How long had she been standing there and how much money had she collected?
Perhaps all of these incidents are common occurrences in the Twin Cities. I really do not know. But for this out-state Minnesotan, the moments were impressionable and, certainly, unsettling.
© Copyright 2013 Audrey Kletscher Helbling
Minnesota Prairie Roots 
People panhandling for change is very common. I usually don’t give. I had a friend who worked at a convenience store once who had lots of panhandlers coming in to buy cigarettes when they collected enough. That said, asking change specifically for a bus–she might have been legit. The elevator woman? That’s not usual at all. But I wouldn’t recommend speaking to her. The guy selling candy may be a neighborhood fixture. If other diners were pulling out money, they may have known him and his cause.
Thanks for those insider city insights. The guy selling M & Ms was wearing a photo ID of some sort, so I figured he wasn’t just a panhandler. The others, I just don’t know what was going on with them. When you’re not used to seeing this sort of behavior, it’s really difficult to decipher what’s going on.
Hmm. It is unsettling, I always keep a little change in my pockets, coins, when i am in the cities, I just give a little to everyone who asks, the bus fare is a story I have heard about a million times before in london.. When I eat out in the city I always save a doggie bag and ask for a plastic fork and a napkin and my rule is the first homeless person I see gets the bag, the fork and the napkin. The girl in the elevator did not want you to talk to her.. fair enough, I think you were right not to interrupt.. she was having a bad day and needed to get home. What an interesting collection of incidents. Though I have to say the girl with the bag of napkins seems the most intriguing.. aren’t we lucky not to have to live there.. c
Yes, I could not live in the city. But, seeing the vibrancy of the night life there, I understand why the city appeals to young people, especially. It is good that we all appreciate differing environments.
Your approach to dealing with similar situations in the city is a good one. So kind-hearted you are. I wasn’t expecting any of this, which shows you just how seldom I venture into the heart of a big city.
at night the city is very different, not more threatening particularly, and definitely vibrant! c
I am not a city girl at all but I do love the sights and sounds. Our oldest has almost always lived in cities and actually lived downtown in Austin, TX where there was always a lot of interesting sights and people to see. I get that heart wrenching feeling when I see a homeless person or a mentally disabled person who obviously has a lot to deal with. I don’t always give but sometimes I do. It has to feel right. I used to carry little bags in my car with snack sized items including granola bars, fruit and plastic silverware to hand out at intersections. Of course when I was prepared I never saw anyone and when i did not have any with me I saw plenty. It is a hard call but my motto has always been that after I give it is up to that person to use it as they want to—-I can’t worry after it leaves my hands and I trust that it is used for good. 🙂
Now that’s a good approach to take.
What you described is just part of being in the city. Panhandling is pretty common on Nicollet Avenue. I have learned to ignore them as while some of them are legit, most are not. I would bet that the girl in the elevator had some mental condition going on and therefore it would be best to just leave well enough alone. Anyway that is as they say life in the big city. After you have been here awhile you do get used to it.
Alright then, your informed comments just show how seldom I get into the big city since these types of behavior appear to be the “norm.” At least I will be more aware of possible intentions should I encounter any of these situations during a future visit. Seems that readers are basically telling me to trust my instincts.
St. Paul has a much more interesting history, is quirkier, has wonderful little neighborhoods, much more varied architecture than the Other Town.
My wife and I fantasize about living on Grand Avenue or Dinkitown. My son and his wife just moved to Seattle and are for one year living in downtown Seattle. They are having a ball. My son loves walking to work, all the history to see, all the specialty restaurants and stores right at hand. I would like that as well. But both of us could live in a cabin in the woods too. (Not my wife however.)
We drove along Summit Avenue also and I could pretty much live in one of those mansions, if only I had the money. I am determined now to explore more of St. Paul. I felt quite comfortable there on our brief visit, even with those three unsettling incidents. The daughter took us past beautiful Rice Park all aglow in holiday lights. Downtown St. Paul doesn’t intimidate me like the Other Town.
I am not letting you off the hook. Go explore the old quirky neighborhoods. Start with a fun lunch at Yarussos. You will need GPS to get there, but it will be wonderful food at a good price.
http://www.yarussos.com/
Or go to the north side and eat at Mama Rose’s.
Yes, sir. Thanks for the tips.
As someone who has lived here in the Twin Cities all my life, it really struck me that these people who unsettled you are the sorts of people I see every day and that usually doesn’t bother me. Whether I give anything to anyone who asks depends on whether I have any change in my pocket and my gut feeling about the person asking. There are often people with signs saying they’re homeless and asking for anything one can spare who stand at the exit ramps from I-35 or I-94 into downtown Minneapolis; I argue with myself occasionally about whether to look them in the eye while I’m waiting for the traffic lights to change. I sometimes think, how many steps are any of us away from losing what we have? But many of the panhandlers are struggling with mental health issues and bad choices; I mostly let them be. I probably would have bought the M&Ms. 🙂 I can’t imagine not living in a city.
http://oneminnesotawriter.blogspot.com
More good insights, Kathleen. I find it so interesting to read in these comments that what unsettled me is seemingly the norm. I suppose it’s all what we get used to in our environment. Excellent point, too, that all of us are perhaps only steps away from losing what we have. You, clearly, also possess a kind and thoughtful heart.
I’ve lived in St. Paul for almost 30 years and I rarely see these things. I do know that during the holidays, “pan handling” is more common. People are in a giving spirit and, as always, there are those who will take advantage. The places you visited have high-traffic/higher populations and the more people, the more different types of people you will see. Would I say that the girl in the elevator had a “mental condition?” No. Perhaps she is an introvert or maybe she never learned social skills from her family. A nice smile is all that is required. And the sights at Victoria Crossing? If they were concerning or disliked by anyone, there are security guards on site that can answer questions and even “get rid” of these people if they are not allowed to be there.
Want to see the real St. Paul? Go to the Target on University Ave. I always see someone I know and you will always see people who have run into a friend and have stopped for a chat. It’s a warm and friendly place, in my opinion. Also, going to school events, sporting events (both my kids play hockey) and belonging to a church – these places will show you St. Small at its best! My daughter started at Central High School this year and when I attended her first band concert, I felt like I was at church I was seeing so many people I knew. 🙂
Here’s a fun little tidbit…the wife of the husband/wife team who own Cafe Latte (and Bread and Chocolate and Quince)? She’s from Lamberton. Linda Quinn (nee Kleinhart). Two of my sisters and I worked for them back when they first opened their restaurants in the 1980s. Yes, being from Lamberton helped us get those jobs!
Sara, so interesting to read your perspective and also to learn of the Lamberton connection at Cafe Latte. I truly loved that place with those delicious sandwiches and soup and the cozy, yet, busy, atmosphere.
I totally get where you’re coming from mentioning the Target and the school events. Even a community like Faribault, with a population of around 25,000, can seem overwhelmingly “big” (for someone like me from rural southwestern Minnesota) unless you find your own small community within the community. For me, that was my church. From there the circle widens. Nearly anywhere I go in Faribault, I will encounter someone I know.
I truly do think that is the key, the settling into a caring community, whether you live in the big city or the country.
As for that young woman in the elevator, I was worried that perhaps she had been the victim of abuse (had a black eye or something). But my husband said he saw her face and she looked fine. I will never know. But I pray she is alright, no matter what was going on with her that evening.
Lamberton? My mother lived there in her early years. I still have relatives there.
Sara, the Lamberton native who tipped us off to the Lamberton connection at Cafe Latte, has family back in Lamberton also. Her dad, in fact, is “Stan the Clown.” Yes, he’s a long-time parade-walking clown, whom I hope to interview sometime when I’m back in Lamberton visiting my middle brother, CEO of Highwater Ethanol. It’s a small world, isn’t it?
Ahhhhh The Twin Cities, I love to visit the cities, but wouldn’t want to live there!. Our Brice lived on Summit Ave in St. Paul while attending college, The “college of VIsual Arts” happens to be one of those old mansions on Summit (very cool) MInneapolis is definitely a different culture than what we small town girls are used to, I’m with you though, some of the things you run into can be very unsettling! If you’ve never visited the St. Paul cathedral, you really should, It’s absolutely beautiful, It’s easy access, right off Kellogg blvd and you can go in any time of the day. It’s a bloggers paradise.
Yup, that would be me, small town girl.
I toured the St. Paul Cathedral several years ago, photographed it and wrote a magazine feature story on both the cathedral and the state Capitol. This was prior to my blogging days. Both were remarkable. I’d visited the Capitol in sixth grade, but, of course, did not really appreciate it then as I should have.
I’d also like to visit the newly-renovated Union Depot in St. Paul, the James J. Hill house and return to explore Summit and Grand avenues. And then I want to see that tornado movie at the Science Museum. Looks like I may be venturing back to the Cities again soon. It helps when you have knowledgeable guides like the daughter and her boyfriend.
After moving from the Metro area almost 40 years ago, we feel at home here and our lives ‘there’ give us a “foreign” feeling. We return to that area often to visit relatives and do the theater/restaurant ‘thing’ but gladly retreat to our little rural corner of this planet. Fascinating post and group of comments! Thoroughly enjoyed the reading…hugs, D
Ditto on enjoying the comments threading into this post. Seems we all have different views depending on where we live and our backgrounds.
Readers, I am so appreciate of all you are sharing here today. You’ve given me some valuable insights and reasons why you appreciate where you live. Thank you.
You are very welcome!-D
As you can guess… I love Minneapolis.Since I write all about it on http://www.mplsgossipgirl.com. I actually love St. Paul as well. I agree sometimes the city can be a bit stressful. Traffic is never fun.
As someone who lives here I am used to walking or taking public transportation everywhere. It is much better than having to find parking.
I guess I find that I like living here because there is always something to do and always something new to discover. Plus, I really like being able to walk everywhere, to the grocery, to work, to a coffee shop, and restaurants, oh the restaurants.
But, I love traveling to smaller towns in Minnesota. They have charm and make me feel relaxed. That’s why I like reading your blog. 🙂
As for all the the strange people you ran into. Yes, that happens. All the time. Sometimes it is a good strange like the people who dance on Nicollet Mall without any music. Sometimes a bad strange, like the people who yell at you and tell you that you are going to hell. It keeps things interesting right?
As for anyone asking for money, I will engage them and say sorry I don’t have any (which is always true) or no I don’t give out money and usually say hope you have a good day. If I have an apple I will give it away. It is frank but I think it is appreciated that I am clear about my intentions rather than putting my head down and just walking by like I didn’t hear them.
I don’t give out money because It is very dangerous to give out any amount of money. I always want to try and be part of the solution to the problem and that is why I choose to give in a different way. If you feel guilty or want to do something different, give the amount of money you would have given away to Mary’s Place or PPL or any other local charity working with the homeless. ( I am guessing you already do this)
Mary’s Place does amazing things and I would recommend taking a tour there and learning about their programs.
-mplsgossipgirl
Great response to my post. Thank you so much for an insider’s take on Minneapolis and all that is good about it. I in no way intended to dismiss all the great things the Twin Cities offer and I’m glad you took my post in the correct way.
Your approach to dealing with situations similar to those I referenced are certainly admirable.
Again, thank you for your thoughtful response.
When I saw your question about panhandlers, I immediately thought about the Union Gospel Mission’s advice:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHgs_-37BnA
Excellent, Matt. Thanks for directing me and my readers to this informative video. It’s worth a listen.
The only family reunion I have ever attended. In a corner a cousin and I were talking about being pastors. He ran the Salvation Army mission in downtown Seattle for over 30 years. He was telling me about struggles to find food (Starbucks was very generous to them about coffee, foodstuffs, and cash), money, enough places for people to be save at night. He told me about the people he struggled to keep safe and alive, about how many were mentally ill (as are many of the street people in Mankato, and elsewhere), how many had been abused (almost all), how many were illiterate (almost all), what their lives were like. Around us people were bragging about their kids and grandkids, whining about their job/boss, bragging about their car or house. etc. We two were heavily scorned by most of the family because we did not belong to the correct church. It did give me topics for several sermons. He is one of the most heroic people I know, now deservedly retired on a very modest pension.
I’m not quite sure what to say except that you and your cousin clearly had your hearts in the right place. That we should all be so caring.
I see the panhandlers in Minneapolis after work. They walk up and down and work the commuters for change. Sometimes I’ll give a change, but mostly I don’t. A fella spoke at our church about his ministry to reach out to these folks and try to get them help and to help them selves. http://faithstories.org/meet-tony.html Tony has been there and done that so to speak, so has a real gift for working with these folks.
By the way, in the first pic, the tower on the right with the crown or halo on top – that’s where I work.
I’ve certainly been educated by you on others on panhandling in the Twin Cities. Never too old to learn. And thanks for the link to Tony’s story.
So…you get to deal with the traffic on a daily basis.
I don’t deal with it, the bus driver does:) I ride the bus everday and am spoiled. Anymore, I need to work right downtown, or five minutes from my door. No more driving 45 minutes in traffic if I can help it. My employer subsidizes our transportation costs, so I pay less than $40 / month for unlimited rides to and from downtown. As a comparison, if you park in my building for a full work day, that’s $22.
Excellent on the bus ride to downtown Minneapolis. I had no idea daily parking costs were a ridiculous $22/day. Crazy.
$22/day in my building, which is one of the nicer places to park. You can also get a monthly rate of $295. Right in the core of downtown is expensive. You can find lots a few blocks out from the core where you can contract, but that still runs at least $100 per month.
I am certainly learning a lot about the Cities, starting with that concert at the Xcel several weeks ago and my three encounters on that evening in St. Paul. Now you’re educating me about parking.
No I am not that caring. He was/is.
An oddity: I have not talked to the Lamberton folks in two years or more. Then last night after it comes up here one called to report the death of the oldest relative I had, my mother’s double cousin, Milo Wetter. Isn’t that a gracious old name?
Ah, Clyde, I think you are quite caring.
I know the Wetter name. One of my classmates married Dave Wetter from Lamberton.
Milo brother’s son, my second cousin once removed. Barely know him but know of him. Lots of Wetters around there.
I’m not a city girl, either, though I miss the opportunities down here in rural MN that The Cities offered when I lived there for grad school. I don’t enjoy driving there, either. I let Colin do the driving!
I will never be a city girl.