“IF I CAN’T HAVE YOU, nobody can.”
Then he shot her.
That story of a woman who was shot by her husband, and survived, is part of a powerful investigative report on domestic violence by the Charleston, South Carolina, The Post and Courier which Monday won the 2015 Pulitzer Prize for Public Service.
That it is. It’s a must-read for anyone who cares about domestic violence. And we should all care. These are our mothers, our sisters, our daughters, our friends, our neighbors, our nieces, our granddaughters, who are dying and being abused (verbally/mentally/physically/emotionally) at the hands of men who supposedly love them. Men who control them. And then sometimes kill, or try to kill, them.
Whether you live in South Carolina—where the rate of men killing women ranks highest in the nation—or California or Minnesota or any place in between, you need to read this prize-winning series. Today. Now. (Click here.)
The series addresses all facets of the issue. You will read stories and see images that will break your heart. You will read about survivors and grieving families. You will read about problems within “the system.” You will read about frustrated law enforcement officers. You will read about lack of accountability and communication. You will read about warning signs and the reasons women stay in abusive relationships. You will read a list of problems and suggested solutions.
This is powerful information that will cause you to think and, hopefully, open your eyes and empower you to stand strong, to not look the other way. To care.
Here are some key bits of information that I gleaned from this series:
♥ Survivors often describe falling in love with “charming men who began abusing them well into their relationships.”
♥ Abusers are calculating and manipulative.
♥ Domestic violence is often mistaken as an “anger management problem.”
♥ Domestic violence is about control.
♥ Behavior such as choking/strangulation can predict a possible deadly outcome for those in relationships with domestic abusers.
♥ As South Carolina legislators recently debated domestic violence bills, all but one proposal died in committee. The sole surviving bill provided court-ordered protection for the pets of domestic violence victims.
♥ Domestic violence laws in South Carolina treat first-time offenders “about the same as shoplifters and litterbugs.”
♥ In dealing with domestic abuse offenders, it’s all about holding them accountable.
♥ When The Post and Courier emailed 30-plus clergy, asking whether they’d ever preached about domestic violence or heard a sermon on the topic, only four said they’d mentioned domestic violence. Most didn’t respond.
♥ Victims sometimes/often times fail to cooperate with law enforcement and prosecutors because “they are terrified of their abusers.”
♥ Zero tolerance of domestic violence leads to a drop in deaths.
The series concludes with the final section titled “Enough is enough.” Problems and solutions are presented therein.
Repeat that: Enough is enough.
♥ IF YOU ARE CURRENTLY in an abusive relationship, seek help. Call a local women’s shelter or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. If you are in immediate danger, call 911.
FYI: April 19 – 25 is National Crime Victims’ Rights Week which focuses on supporting victims of crime.
I understand that men can also be the victims of domestic abuse. But the investigative report by The Post and Courier focuses on women, which is why I also focus on women in this post.
© Copyright 2015 Audrey Kletscher Helbling