I DISLIKE CONFLICT. I prefer decency, kindness and respect. I’d rather we all just got along. Listened. Stopped all the political jockeying and spread of misinformation. Cared about one another. Really cared. That would be ideal.
But this is not Utopia, especially not now during a pandemic. I am beyond frustrated. We’ve risen to new levels of disagreement and disconnect that threaten our health and our relationships, even our democracy. I find myself faced with sometimes heartwrenching choices as I try to protect my health and that of those I love most.
WHOOPING COUGH WAS BAD ENOUGH
A severe viral infection, which my husband caught at work and then passed along to me in mid-August, showed just how vulnerable I am to respiratory infections. While this week-long-plus infection had all the marks of COVID-19, it was not. We both tested negative. (Yes, we were fully vaccinated and recently got our boosters.) Yet, this reminded me of my need to be careful. Sixteen years ago I developed a severe case of whooping cough that lasted for three months and required an inhaler and steroids to help me breathe. (Yes, I was vaccinated for pertussis, but that protection wears off, unbeknownst at the time to me. Staying current on vaccines is essential.)
When I asked my doctor back in 2005 where I could have contracted whooping cough, he replied, “You could have gotten it waiting in line at the grocery store.” I was his first adult diagnosed case in 30-plus years of practicing medicine. I never want to be that ill again.
PROTECTING MYSELF & OTHERS
I have made, and will continue to make, choices that best protect me and my closest family circle from COVID-19. With young grandchildren and also a mother in a long-term care center, I am not willing to take chances with their health or mine. Because of high COVID rates in Minnesota, I haven’t seen my mom since July.
In the past nearly two years, I’ve opted out of grad parties, family reunions and gatherings with friends that included unvaccinated and unmasked individuals. I also stopped attending in-person worship services earlier this summer for the second time during this pandemic. I don’t feel comfortable being in enclosed spaces (beyond brief passing) with people who may or may not be vaccinated and who are unmasked.
I’ve missed funerals, attending only one since this whole pandemic began. And that was my father-in-law’s in February, pre-vaccination. It was a horrible experience, trying to keep my distance from the half-maskers and unmasked, too often repeating that I wasn’t hugging or shaking hands because, um, we’re in a pandemic.
Already, family relationships feel strained as I struggle to understand why some extended family refuse to get vaccinated. And then feel it’s OK to attend family get-togethers. I expect to make some difficult choices soon about whether to attend upcoming holiday gatherings. If unvaccinated adults are in attendance, I likely won’t be. Not because I don’t trust the vaccine, but because there’s always some risk and it’s a matter of principle. I don’t want to, by choice, be around individuals I know to be unvaccinated.
CARE, COMMON SENSE & OUR CHILDREN
And then there are those daily life occurrences which trigger concern. Like the unmasked teenage grocery store cashier who ran her fingers around her mouth. Then checked out my groceries.
Months ago at the playground, I watched my granddaughter run up and down a tunnel slide with another little girl. The whole time I wondered, should I allow her to do this? In the end, I did, mostly because they were outdoors and in constant motion. I find myself feeling especially protective of my two grandchildren. The day my 5-year-old granddaughter got her first vaccine dose, I felt incredible joy. I cannot wait for the nearly 3-year-old to become eligible for his COVID vaccine.
It’s true that, generally, if kids get COVID, they experience milder cases. But some have also ended up severely ill in the hospital and others have died. I will take every preventative measure I can to keep my dear grandchildren healthy and safe.
I recognize we each have different comfort levels. I tend to believes the experts, to be a rule follower, to want to do my part to keep others safe via vaccination and mitigation. I trust health and science. If public health officials are recommending we wear masks indoors, regardless of vaccination status, I will do exactly that. Not that I need them advising this. Common sense and knowledge of the highly-contagious Delta variant are enough for me to mask up, keep my distance and more. I would never think of going into surgery (and I’ve had many surgeries in my life) with an unmasked healthcare team, pandemic or not.
OVERWHELMED IN MINNESOTA, A COVID HOTSPOT
Minnesota, for the past week up until Tuesday, had the distinction of experiencing the highest COVID infection rate in the country. Michigan now ranks first. Minnesota hospital beds are filling or are full with few ICU beds available. People continue to die at at an alarming rate from COVID. And it’s not just individuals in their 70s and older any more. COVID is killing those in their 60s, even 30s and 40s and younger. Sometimes even teens. Long-haul COVID is also afflicting many, too many.
Minnesota’s overwhelmed healthcare system concerns me as it affects anyone who needs care. Not just those with COVID. Despite all of this, too many Minnesotans are still refusing to get vaccinated.
I want this pandemic to end. But right now I don’t foresee that happening any time soon…unless we start acting like we care about one another. How? Get vaccinated (and that includes boosters). Wear a face mask. Social distance. Stay home when sick. Practice other proven COVID mitigation measures. We have the power to stop COVID-19. This isn’t 1918. But sometimes it sure seems like 103 years ago, despite advances in science and knowledge and an understanding of how this virus spreads.
NOTE: I will not publish anti-vaccine or anti-masking comments on this, my personal blog. Likewise, I will not publish misinformation, etc. as it relates to COVID and vaccines.
© Copyright 2021 Audrey Kletscher Helbling
i can identify with every word of this, and these are such challenging times we live in for so many reasons. a great post, audrey
Thank you, Beth. Challenging times, indeed.
The holidays pose challenges for sure. My sister and I are going to our cousin’s memorial (not Covid death) and I’ve not seen her in almost two years. I’m anxious. She is too.
I hear you Audrey. Your post is informative and expresses frustration I feel as well. What a loss of that dear little first grader. So awful. So sad.
The political divide is killing us.
Ruth, please accept my condolences at the loss of your cousin. I understand your anxiety in attending her memorial service. I know you will do the best you can to keep yourself safe.
And, yes, the political divide is killing us.
Thank you Audrey❤️
I can understand your frustration. We all must remember that the 1918 pandemic lasted almost 5 years with waves of cases each year as the season changed. The difference is that we have a vaccine! We should have this under better control than we do, that is a world wide problem as our cases here in The Netherlands went over 20,000 yesterday and that are only the reported cases. Many of the breakthrough cases are not getting reported. Stay safe people.
Thank you for that reminder about the 1918 pandemic. And, yes, today’s vaccines make this different from the 1918 pandemic. If only people would get vaccinated. I’m sorry about those skyrocketing cases in the Netherlands also. I often wonder how many cases are going unreported. When my husband brought home that viral infection from work in August (because a co-worker came to work sick and then the illness roared like a wildfire among employees), I believe we were the only ones who self-tested for COVID. Sigh.
Our local school board just voted to go to masks optional after Thanksgiving break. They have caved to pressure and I think it is foolish. Last weekend in Jersey City everyone wore masks— even walking on the streets outside. They remember the mobile morgues. We all just need to be kind and think of each other but it seems that is not the norm.
Oh, my, for a school to choose “no masks” after Thanksgiving break seems unwise. But I agree with you that they have likely caved to pressure. There are many Minnesota schools that are not requiring masks, and that’s primarily in rural areas. Even in Faribault I’ve listened to school board meetings online and heard parents spewing misinformation about masking and demanding no masks. Thus far, the school board has stood firm on masking, but not all members are on board.
The state of Minnesota is going ahead with making COVID booster shots available to all adults given our current horrible COVID numbers. I’m thankful for that as initial vaccine protection wanes.
Your observation about masking in Jersey City is no surprise. I’ve heard from friends in Minneapolis that masking is much better there.
Thank you for your well written post, Audrey. I am angry that as someone who has followed the recommendations, believed the science, gotten vaccinated and boosted, wear a mask, avoid crowds, etc., etc. my life is being so affected by those who refuse to do what needs to be done to stop this vile pandemic. How did such a large percentage of our country get to be so selfish and just plain stupid? Not sure what the future holds but it doesn’t look good.
Hope you can find some things to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
You are welcome, Liz. Like you, I’m angry also because I’ve done everything I can to protect myself, those I love most and my community. II am beyond frustrated and, like you, wonder why such a large percentage of people no longer care about community, about anyone but themselves and their agendas. Their failure to get vaccinated and more affect all of us.
I have many reasons to feel thankful. Topping that list: I am thankful for the researchers and scientists who created the COVID-19 vaccines. I’ll write more on gratitude next week.
Take care, Liz, and stay strong. I’m with you.
Audrey, all I can add to all comments made on this subject is AMEN!!
And pray the situation improves soon. It’s really scary in MN right now.