Minnesota Prairie Roots

Writing and photography by Audrey Kletscher Helbling

Should I hang laundry on the clothesline or not? April 16, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Audrey Kletscher Helbling @ 9:13 AM
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Raindrops on my hosta.

THURSDAY BROUGHT much-needed rain to our area.

But, in all truthfulness, the rainfall surprised me as evidenced by the freshly-laundered bath towels I hung on the clothesline.

On Monday, believing the predictions of rain, I dried my laundry in the dryer. Not a speck of moisture fell from the sky all day. I chastised myself for trusting the forecasters.

I would not be tricked again.

So Thursday morning, despite predictions of rain, I hung towels outdoors. Then, an hour later, I watched as rain fell, not just lightly, but steadily.

I left the towels there. When the rain ceased, I hauled the heavy, wet load inside, lugged the clothes basket down the basement stairs and then heaved the soggy pile into the dryer.

That was followed by two loads of laundered sheets.

Then, Thursday afternoon, the sun came out, bright and strong. The wind blew a steady, drying breeze across my backyard. Perfect clothes drying weather.

I chastised myself for acting too soon, for believing the rain would last all day.

© Copyright 2010 Audrey Kletscher Helbling

 

Investigators now think chocolate bunny was kidnapped April 15, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Audrey Kletscher Helbling @ 2:38 PM
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LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICIALS investigating threats against a chocolate bunny in Faribault now report a possible abduction in the case.

Just this afternoon, the Faribault Police Department and the Minnesota Special Forces Unit issued a joint statement saying they found evidence that Zachary Rabbit has been kidnapped.

Police released this photo of an empty candy box linked to the disappearance. Investigators offered no details, but unidentified sources confirm the evidence was found in a backyard near Wapacuta Park.

Police released this photo showing evidence in the possible abduction of Zachary Rabbit.

While police remain mostly tight-lipped, Special Forces Unit Commander White Rabbit verifies that a third threat was received today via the internet. According to him, the text stated: “Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. You totally deserved it.”

Computer forensic experts have traced the message to an IP address in La Crosse, Wisconsin. Authorities there are now involved and the FBI has been contacted to aid in the investigation.

If you have any information on the whereabouts of Zachary Rabbit, who weighs two ounces and was last seen wearing a shiny gold, ankle-length coat and a floral necklace, contact your nearest law enforcement agency.

A recent photo of Zachary Rabbit.

© Copyright 2010 Audrey Kletscher Helbling

 

In celebration of National Poetry Month

Filed under: Uncategorized — Audrey Kletscher Helbling @ 9:02 AM
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My vintage bottle of April Showers Cologne, saved from the junk pile by my mom, who saves everything.

April Showers

The tarnished bottle cap

twists in my fingers,

harsh metal clanking against glass

as the top swirls,

and then

releases,

unleashing a shower

of childhood memories.

***

I lift the glass close,

breathe in the sweet fragrance

of April Showers Friction Cologne

through a hole no thicker than a pencil.

***

Decades have passed

since I splashed this alluring

scent upon my stick-thin wrists,

into the hollow of my slender neck,

masking the odors

of cows and manure.

***

Transformed, I became

more than a preadolescent farm girl,

more than a sister who shared a pink bedroom,

who left wads of chewed Bazooka bubble gum

stuck on the dresser top

next to the cheap, bottled cologne.

I was somebody

who smelled pretty

and fancied herself

as Cinderella.

***

All this I remember

as I run my fingers

along the glass,

feel the raised imprint

of flowers and letters,

gently swirl the inch of yellow-green liquid that,

like a magic potion,

transcends time.

I open my bottle of April Showers and breathe in memories from more than 40 years ago.

Poem by Audrey Kletscher Helbling, © Copyright 2010

Written in celebration of National Poetry Month in April. Watch for more poetry news in future blog posts.

 

Threats received against chocolate bunny April 14, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Audrey Kletscher Helbling @ 7:32 PM
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BREAKING NEWS…

Faribault police received a report late this afternoon from a hysterical woman claiming threats were made against her chocolate Easter bunny.

Police Chief Dan McGregor, who is investigating the case, says a male, identified only as “Randy,” delivered this message to the unidentified woman: “Chomp, chomp, chomp!”

McGregor is following up on leads and asks anyone with information to contact him.

The chief also confirms that the Faribault resident received a second menacing communication stating that her chocolate rabbit would be kidnapped.

He is taking that threat seriously and has called in the Special Forces Unit to deal with the situation. The commander of that unit is en route from southwestern Minnesota and should arrive in Faribault within the hour.

Commander White Rabbit, head of the Special Forces Unit, will aid Faribault police in their investigation.

© Copyright 2010 Audrey Kletscher Helbling

(See my previous post, “Do not bite the ears off my chocolate bunny,” for background information on the above story.)

 

Do not bite the ears off my chocolate bunny

Filed under: Uncategorized — Audrey Kletscher Helbling @ 7:53 AM
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My foil-wrapped chocolate Easter bunny escapes to the backyard.

I WONDERED WHEN they would notice.

On Monday, more than a week after Easter, my two guys finally ask.

“When are you going to eat your chocolate bunny?” my 16-year-old son inquires as he dips into the Easter candy for an after-school snack.

“When are you going to eat your chocolate bunny?” my husband asks later, when we are dipping into the shared family candy after supper.

My answer to them is identical: “I’m strategizing,” I say. “I’m eating the other candy first because, when that’s gone, I’ll still have my chocolate bunny.” Smart, huh? Just to clarify, each member of my family gets his/her own foil-wrapped chocolate bunny treat for Easter.

“I thought you were testing your willpower,” my husband says, knowing all too well how much I love chocolate.

Even I am surprised that I haven’t at least nibbled on the rabbit’s ears.

But early on I determined that I would get more chocolate if I followed my well-thought-out plan of eating from the general family stash of candy before eating my very own chocolate.

So far, so good, I figure, unless, of course, one of the boys cannot resist temptation and bites off the bunny’s ears.

But I think they know better than to mess with a woman and her chocolate, especially this woman and her chocolate.

© Copyright 2010 Audrey Kletscher Helbling

 

The Case of the Lying Teen and the Hypocritical Mom April 13, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Audrey Kletscher Helbling @ 8:16 AM
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AS THE HANDS on the clock nudge closer to 11 p.m. Sunday, I feel my anxiety level rise.

What has been months in the planning is about to reach a dramatic conclusion.

But I am tired, exhausted really. And for the past hour or more, I have been fighting sleep. I want this all to end so I can go to bed.

Just another 30 minutes, I tell myself, and it will be done.

In the meantime, I need my 16-year-old son to get out of here.

“Caleb, stop reading and go to bed,” I strongly, emphatically, protectively suggest. “You have school tomorrow.”

He lifts his head, turns from the pages of his book to look at me.

“You hypocrite,” he accuses.

I can’t argue with that other than to say that I’m the mom and I don’t have school tomorrow and if I want to stay up late and finish reading a thrilling mystery, I can.

Before my boy heads off to bed, he leans in to hug me. “Where’s your book?” I ask, noting that his science fiction anthology, The Starry Rift, Tales of New Tomorrows edited by Jonathan Strahan, is not on the couch or anywhere in my view.

He smiles a lying grin. “It’s in my backpack,” he says, his smile growing bigger.

I know better.

But what can I say? I am a hypocrite.

Deadly Stillwater by Roger Stelljes

As he heads upstairs, I turn back to my book, Deadly Stillwater by Twin Cities writer Roger Stelljes. The police are hot on the trail of the kidnappers.

This story line is not calming me. I am, in fact, becoming more agitated with each flip of a page.

I close the book.

I need my sleep.

The police will just have to wait until morning to solve this crime. And they do, before noon.

Now it’s Tuesday morning, and my teen is hurrying downstairs for breakfast. I spy a book tucked in the crook of his arm.

“Were you reading last night?” I ask.

“Maybe,” he answers. At least he’s not flat out lying this time.

“Do you have those tests today?” I inquire, referring to the Minnesota Comprehensive Assessment tests.

“Yeah, reading,” he says.

“Then you shouldn’t have stayed up late,” I admonish.

“I was practicing,” he shoots back.

© Copyright 2010 Audrey Kletscher Helbling

 

The proper Minnesota Jell-O April 12, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Audrey Kletscher Helbling @ 11:00 AM
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My friend Kristin made peach Jell-O in a pan.

IN MINNESOTA, WE have hotdish. Not casseroles.

We have lutefisk and lefse and food-on-a-stick.

And then we have Jell-O.

Truly, I thought Jell-O was a thing of the past, even in Minnesota.

But Kristin proved me wrong. She brought a pan of gelatin to Family Game Night at Trinity Lutheran Church on Saturday.

I’ve seen Jell-O made in bowls—even layered in bowls—and shaped into shapes in molds. I’ve seen Jell-O elevated to a plate of honor during a production of How to Talk Minnesotan at the Plymouth Playhouse. But I’ve never seen gelatin in a glass cake pan.

But Kristin, the theatrical type, proved that Minnesotans can get creative with their Jell-O by thinking outside the box inside the box (er, cake pan).

She even stirred peaches into her peach Jell-O and topped it with the ultimate in Jell-O toppings—marshmallows.

And then, sin of sins, she cut the thickened concoction into squares. Doesn’t she know that Minnesotans, or maybe it’s just Lutherans, prefer to dish up their Jell-O with a spoon? We are not the show-off type, you know, serving up fancy Jell-O squares.

But Kristin, as I suggested, fails to conform to conformity. She sometimes makes cranberry Jell-O and adds cranberries.

Did you know Jell-O comes in cranberry flavoring? I didn’t. I thought the flavors were strawberry, strawberry and strawberry.

Did you know, too, that you can actually ruin Jell-O? My friend confessed that she once did just that by adding too much water.

Oh, Kristin, Kristin, Kristin. Perhaps you should stick with the old standby Minnesota Jell-O recipe: Add sliced bananas to partially-thickened strawberry Jell-O.

If you want to get creative, top your bowl full (not pan full) of Jell-O with Cool Whip.

But for gosh sakes, Kristin, please serve your potluck Jell-O with a spoon, not some fancy serving utensil.

A slice of Kristin's peach Jell-O.

DO YOU HAVE ANY interesting stories to share about Jell-O? I’d love to hear yours. So submit a comment to Minnesota Prairie Roots, even if you are a conservative Minnesota Lutheran.

© Copyright 2010 Audrey Kletscher Helbling

 

Seeking a gallery venue for a 91-year-old Faribault artist April 10, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Audrey Kletscher Helbling @ 10:56 AM
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I HAD PLANNED an entirely different post for today. But then I read the obituaries in today’s Faribault Daily News.

I never knew Shirley Yule, the 91-year-old woman who died on Thursday. I do, however, know her 91-year-old husband.

Last fall I met Rhody Yule while returning to Faribault from a shopping trip to nearby Dundas. Rather than driving the usual and quickest route along a state highway, my husband and I follow some back, Rice County roads.

It is then that I discover Rhody. Well, I don’t exactly discover him initially. I discover his garage, which, on the front, is covered with 10 paintings of famous people like John Wayne, Mother Teresa and John F. Kennedy.

Portraits painted by Rhody Yule and hung on his garage in rural Rice County, Minnesota.

Now that catches my attention. To make a long story short, I knock on the house door and am welcomed inside by diminutive Rhody, who has painted the portraits and many, many more. You can read all about Rhody in a feature story that will publish in the May/June issue of Minnesota Moments magazine.

Rhody Yule moved from his rural Faribault home one week after I interviewed him and now lives with family in Hastings, Minnesota.

My interest in Rhody, though, extends beyond my writing. I am determined that this talented artist have his own art show. So about four months ago, I contact the local art center. I learn that, if Rhody is to do an exhibit, he must go through the process of submitting an application. And, I am told, the earliest art gallery opening isn’t until early 2011.

Even though I understand the necessity of procedure and rules, I am concerned because Rhody is, after all, 91 years old. Now, with the passing of Shirley, who had been in a nursing home after falling and breaking an elbow and hip, I am even more worried. All too often when one elderly spouse dies, the other soon follows.

So, as I write, ideas are already spinning through my head. Can I find an alternative location in Faribault for a Rhody Yule art show sometime within the next few months? I really want to keep the show in Faribault, where this man has lived and worked most of his life. A co-worker has volunteered to design promotional materials at no expense.

What do you think? Do you have any ideas?

© Copyright 2010 Audrey Kletscher Helbling

 

An unexpected guest tours my Faribault home April 9, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Audrey Kletscher Helbling @ 8:08 AM
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WOULDN’T YOU KNOW, on the day the beds are unmade, because I’m washing sheets; dirty dishes are stacked on the counter; dried fern leaves litter the carpet; Minnesota Moments magazine proofs are strewn across the dining room table; and cardboard still covers a hole in the wall (has for six months), I get an unexpected guest.

And it’s 100 percent my fault.

If I wasn’t the curious person that I am, this man never would have set foot inside my unkempt house.

But I had to go and stick my nose (my whole being really) out the front door (onto the sidewalk really), literally.

I can’t help myself. As I’m working at my computer, I notice him loitering in front of my house with his fancy, schmancy camera. He’s taking photos. But of what? There is nothing I can envision that is worthy of a photograph.

This deserves investigation. But by the time I find my shoes, pull open the door and run down the steps, he is already walking away.

“Sir, sir,” I yell, feeling a bit foolish about the formality of my words. But since he is a stranger, I figure politeness is my best approach.

“I’m curious,” I say. “What are you taking pictures of?”

He is in town, visiting from Alaska, and once lived in the neighborhood, he tells me.

“Oh, I live down there,” I say, pointing to my house, the green house, on the corner.

“504?” he asks.

Yup, that would be it, my home for the past 25 ½ years.

“I grew up there,” he says.

I decide then and there that I’m going to invite him inside.

He is pleased as punch.

“I’m Audrey,” I say.

He’s Randy.

Once inside, I give him the tour and he can’t get over how bright the interior is with all of the paneling gone. He helped his dad nail the hideous 70s décor in place, he says.

And while we talk, he snaps the occasional picture while I apologize and try to tidy up my home. I can just imagine Randy showing these photos to his family.

They’ll likely think, maybe even say, “Oh, she sure has a messy house.”

Yeah, well at least it’s light and airy and stripped of all that dark, dark paneling.

Thankfully for me, my unexpected guest seems not to care. I fill him in, room-by-room, on the changes we’ve made: new sheetrock, new carpet, new windows, new insulation, new furnace, even a new toilet.

But not a new kitchen sink. It’s still the same hideous brown of his youth.

Oh, yeah, and Randy notices the “new” tree. Yeah, the one that we planted 23 years ago and which he passes coming and going via my backyard, after he’s thanked me profusely for allowing him inside his childhood home.

It was my pleasure, Randy, and you’re welcome back to reminisce any day. Just call ahead next time.

© Copyright 2010 Audrey Kletscher Helbling

 

A place of peace, inside Friedens Kirche April 8, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Audrey Kletscher Helbling @ 7:41 AM
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Friedens Evangelical Lutheran Church near New Prague

ONLY 34 YEARS AGO, the last German services were held in Friedens Evangelical Lutheran Church, rural New Prague.

This surprises me—that German services continued up until 1976.

But I find that fact, printed right there in a church brochure I pick up recently while en route to Jordan, Minnesota. These days, lured by their historical and reverent beauty, I can’t pass by an old country church without stopping and tugging at front doors, hoping to get inside.

Typically, I am disappointed because most often church doors are locked.

On this March afternoon, though, I feel blessed because a side door to Friedens is open. A worker, who is laying new flooring, is sitting in a van next to the church eating his lunch.

“You can go inside, but I can’t give you permission to go inside,” he insists several times. I am persistent, though, and he finally concedes that my husband and I look like “decent folks.”

We are, and I intend to enter the church with or without his approval.

My only desire is to see the interior of this old, stately double-spire brick house of worship that stands proudly along Le Sueur County Road 30.

Once inside, I am not disappointed. In fact, I am pleased to discover that the sanctuary resembles the Wisconsin Synod church of my youth, St. John’s Lutheran Church in Vesta.

The ornate gold-trimmed white altar, specifically, takes me back decades to the place where I worshipped every Sunday. Friedens’ altar appears a carbon copy of the altar in the old St. John’s church building. I figure this altar is typical of that era—Friedens was founded in 1864 and this building constructed in 1913.

Inside Friedens Lutheran

The ornate altar and the statue of Christ are similar to the ones that once graced my childhood church in Vesta, Minnesota.

Inside this old Wisconsin Synod church, I admire the gentle curves of the balcony, sunlight streaming through beautiful stained glass windows, lamps dangling from chains above the pews, even the twists of the bell rope.

Looking toward the curving balcony of Friedens.

Jesus invites the children to come to Him in one of many stained glass windows inside Friedens.

Friedens' German heritage is reflected in this stained glass window, which translates, "My help comes from the Lord who made heaven and earth."

This house of worship inspires me, brings back so many memories, even though I’ve never been here until today.

But then my husband brings me out of my reverie. “Should I ring the bell?” he asks.

I admit that it is tempting to grab the rope and pull as I round the stairs into the balcony. This, I know, will surely prompt the floor-layer to evict us and label us anything other than “decent folks.”

I walk past these two windows on the stairway leading to the balcony.

Mary and Martha depicted welcoming Jesus in this balcony window.

Soon I have finished photographing the interior of this lovely old church. I am standing outside now, braced against a brisk March wind taking pictures of the exterior.

Back inside the car, we begin to pull away when a man in jogging clothes emerges from the house across the roadway. He’s half-walking, half-leaping, struggling to pull on a pair of shoes. He is, I figure, the pastor, and I am right.

We stop and the Rev. Henry Koch introduces himself. I explain that I am a writer and that I love old churches and that I was raised Wisconsin Synod Lutheran. We laugh together when I say I’m not a traitor because today I am a member of a Missouri Synod Lutheran congregation. My conservative Lutheran guilt prompts the synod transfer confession.

We talk a bit about the weather, which has been an adjustment for this clergyman. He moved here from Florida several years ago, likes it here and says this is a good place to raise his son.

As I look around this rural setting, I understand. Here, in the shadows of a church that bears four crosses high atop four towers—two on the original church and two on the fellowship addition—seems an ideal place to raise a family.

And under the care of this congregation—Friedens, the German word for “peace”—I can only imagine the peace that also comes in living here upon the land settled by Hannoverian German Lutheran families in the mid-1800s.

© Copyright 2010 Audrey Kletscher Helbling