Minnesota Prairie Roots

Writing and photography by Audrey Kletscher Helbling

“She loved the man who shot her…” February 17, 2016

Statistics on a The Clothesline Project t-shirt from the Minnesota Coaltition for Battered Women..

Statistics on a The Clothesline Project t-shirt from the Minnesota Coalition for Battered Women. Minnesota Prairie Roots file photo 2015.

My sister was in love. She loved the man who shot her after running her down like an animal hunted for sport. This didn’t happen in a day or even a week or a year.

It happened slowly over the years with little hints of control…

Dear readers, please read these words and more on a GoFundMe page set up to cover funeral expenses for 28-year-old Trisha Nelson. This southern Minnesota native was killed on February 12 “in a horrific act of domestic violence” in Plymouth. Trisha is our state’s second known victim of domestic violence in 2016.

Tanya Fure writes her sister’s heart-wrenching story, with this advice:

I’m begging that if you are even thinking you might be in an unhealthy situation—SEEK HELP.

Tanya’s words are powerful as she now becomes the voice for her dead sister. The sister whose ashes she will now bury and scatter. By sharing her sister’s story, Tanya hopes to give others the strength to leave unhealthy relationships and to live. Free. Untethered from those who control and manipulate and abuse. And sometimes kill.

FYI: If you are in an abusive relationship or even think you are, seek help. You are so worth it. Contact a local crisis resource center or women’s shelter for help and support. If you are in immediate danger, call 911. Leaving an abuser is the most dangerous time; have a plan to leave safely. Additional information is available, for abuse victims, family, friends and survivors by clicking on any of these links:
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
Minnesota Coalition for Battered Women (Gifts to MCBW are suggested by the family in Trisha’s honor.)


18 Responses to ““She loved the man who shot her…””

  1. Beth Ann Says:

    It is so sad that these posts are necessary and that lives like Trisha’s end is such a tragic way. There are resources available to this who need them—-thanks for sharing those as well.

  2. Larry Says:

    Audrey: I would have left out the initial quote. Comparing the victim to an animal seems to reduce her humanity; AND the event had nothing to do with hunting. Reports that I hear indicate the man had untreated mental illness. There’s plenty of sadness here to go around without muddying the water with a seriously off base quote.

    • I see your point, Larry. Trisha’s sister, though, is entitled to her opinion.

      Yes, I’ve heard the same reports regarding the perpetrator. Many people suffer from mental health issues, yet they do not harm others. Emphasizing that is also perhaps muddying the waters with an “excuse.”

      I agree that there’s plenty of sadness to go around for family and friends of both the victim and the perpetrator.

  3. Marneymae Says:

    thank you, as ever, for spreading the word about this

  4. My heart aches ……
    because this keeps happening and happening.
    Audrey, we need to start a REVOLUTION, A MOVEMENT.
    to say NO MORE.
    NO MORE.
    No F-ing MORE.

    love from Duluth. x

  5. Jackie Says:

    I did hear about this on the news and was so disturbed by this senseless death. It just makes be so sad….someone’s daughter, now dead, my heart goes out to this family.

  6. Gunny Says:

    “Hunting” and the use of the word for a human being as an “animal”, while not a worthy comparison, sadly, does describe what transpired. We all have our own qwerks. Some more, some less. Spouses or those close to one another learn rather quickly (women especially) what irritates the other. For some this takes awhile. We have our own “buttons” that we must guard against that can anger us or send us into a rage. With any mental unstableness, these “buttons” are amplified. Add any type of legal or illegal drugs and the innocent spouse is sitting on a powder keg. In a long term relationship, the longer it goes, the more we have invested in that relationship, both emotionally and financially. I can understand the cost of just walking away. However, if one’s partner starts to introduce elements such as alcohol or any type of drugs, one must seriously address the situation and prepare to do just that – walk away, or run! Tis better to be judged by 12 than carried by six.

    What truly bothers me is that Minnesota just recently put a thief who stole 85 guns, on ten years probation without additional jail time. Amazingly, police have recovered 81 of those firearms but there are now at least 4 guns out there unaccounted for in the wrong hands. I am a strong supporter of Second Amendment Rights (which by the way, is not just firearms), but if one exercises those rights they must be willing to train! Every time I see someone joining up with a anti-gun violence group I cringe! Better they should join the NRA and LEARN about guns! The lord knows our children are being taught about sex at a very young age. Try and get the school to teach the Eddie Eagle (c) program, and the school would go into hysterics! The NRA is about the ONLY group that teaches the legalities, safety measure and actual firearms training to the American citizen. Brady Campaign or any other group one can name does not do that.

    • Gunny, I like your response to the first part of Tanya’s quote. Thank you for that and for your insights into this topic. You always give us much to ponder.

      I am not aware of that stolen gun case in Minnesota. But I am not surprised. The justice system, to me, often seems broken with the focus on rights of the offender rather than safe-guarding the public or protecting the victim. How closely will that individual who stole 85 guns be watched? And, if he violates probation, will he be held accountable?

  7. Missy's Crafty Mess Says:

    Thoughts and prayers….

  8. Sue Ready Says:

    Thanks for providng continued community awareness on domestic violence. Indeed such senseless acts are heartwrenching.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.