TODAY, JANUARY 13, MARKS three years since my mom died. I hadn’t intended to write about this anniversary date. But then two friends blogged on topics that changed my mind.
My dear friend Beth Ann from North Carolina, who blogs at It’s Just Life, writes today about observing a grocery store encounter between a daughter and elderly mother that reminded her of her sweet mom whom she lost several years ago. The point of Beth Ann’s post is that grief comes in the most unexpected of moments and hits you hard. She’s right.
Then my friend Sue, who lives in Minnesota, winters in Arizona and blogs primarily about food at Ever Ready, published a post featuring Hot Fudge Sundae Cake. Waves of nostalgia and grief swept over me as I scrolled through Sue’s post. Hot Fudge Pudding Cake, as my family called this delectable, easy-to-make dessert, was a favorite of Mom’s and of me.
Neither Sue or Beth Ann could have known I would be reading their words on the third anniversary of Mom’s death. But I did. And it was meant to be because my grief needed an outlet. My friends’ writing prompted me to write this post.
In the process of writing, I headed upstairs to pull a mini keepsake book from a closet. My friend Kathleen, formerly of Minnesota and now of Idaho, created the altered book for me following my mother’s death. She tapped into my blog to pull quotes, information and photos that truly summarize Mom’s life and our relationship. The book brims with words of love, faith, family and farm life, all at the essence of my mom. It truly is one of my most treasured possessions.
So on this day, while the grief of losing Mom feels particularly heavy, it is the creativity of friends that comforts me. Beth Ann’s “Right There in the Baking Aisle” resonates. Sue’s shared recipe brings smiles as I remember. And Kathleen’s keepsake mini altered book stirs within me so many memories of the mom I loved, and still love.
TELL ME: Who are you grieving? What can spark your grief? What comforts you in grief?
© Copyright 2025 Audrey Kletscher Helbling
Minnesota Prairie Roots 
What a lovely gift to receive such a book! And a gift, too, to know you’re not alone in your grief.
Absolutely yes to both! I know you’re grieving your mom, too.
It’s the shared loss across humanity that connects us in our grief, a common emotional ground. You’re right, it’s the unexpected moments and little things that bring it back to us. ❤️ to you on this day
Thank you, Beth, for your kind comment and love. I feel it.
I’m so sorry for the sad anniversary of the loss of your mom, Audrey. I lost my mom to Covid November 2021. One thing that’s difficult about that, was not being able to be there when mom needed us most at the end because her Covid illness kept us apart. There are days when I think I should call my mom and tell her about her great-grandchildren and the proud-worthy thing they did, and then I remember she’s gone. And it’s shocking. We had a funeral, but it was small and swift and cold. It just doesn’t ‘feel’ like she’s gone.
Oh, Rose, I feel your pain. I’m so sorry you lost your mom, especially to COVID. The separation from our moms during the pandemic was so difficult. I feel as you do, that I was not there for my mom near the end of her life. That hurts. You are spot on in writing that it doesn’t “feel” like she’s gone. And I think that’s because we didn’t have that end time with our mothers. And I think, too, it’s because of the funerals. Your mom’s was different than my mom’s funeral.
My mom’s funeral was large, in a packed church of maskless people at the height of omicron. I felt disrespected by all those individuals who refused to wear masks (nearly everyone at the service). I did not stand with my siblings in a receiving line. I didn’t hug anyone. It was really an awful experience. My mom’s siblings and families did not attend because they knew people would not be masked. They were robbed of saying goodbye to their sister and aunt. And I knew my mom would not have wanted/liked this at all. She was one of the most caring and selfless individuals I knew. Three years later I still feel the pain not only of losing her, but of that funeral.
Finally catching up and sending hugs— we will always carry our sweet mothers with us.
Yes, we will.
Very interesting how these incidents played out for you in triggering memories of your mother’s death. Blessings to you as you remember her love.
Thank you, Valerie.
It’s usually music that sparks the memories of my sister. I have also been dreaming of both grandparents homes a lot lately. So many memories!
I remember you writing about the importance of music to Brittany. Music can be therapeutic.