ONCE UPON A TIME in The Land of Plenty, there lived a ruler who, before he took office, declared that he would be king for a day, or some such wordage. He relished power and absolute control with the zeal of a kid unleashed in a candy store. Except even kids in a candy shop realize they can’t devour every piece of sticky taffy, every morsel of chocolate, every jelly bean in sight. Their stomachs would hurt. And they would soon be barfing all over the kingdom.
But the narcissistic leader, who promised to make the country the best it had ever been (because he craved praise and power), apparently did not understand this about consuming too much candy. Or he didn’t care. Once in office, the-man-who-would-be-king gathered his team, granting unfettered powers to one of them in particular. He pulled out his guidebook and magical pen and scrawled his signature across endless pieces of paper imprinted with orders to create an even more wonderful and efficient Land of Plenty, at least in his eyes. Such was his insatiable desire for adoration, domination and control. His plan to become king for a day extended well beyond a day into mindless infinity.
He proposed acquiring more land to add to his empire, focusing his efforts on the countries of Adanac and Dnalneerg, both of which wanted nothing to do with him, understandably so. But that didn’t stop the ruler from obsessing on the topic, for he was a determined man. Do this. Do that. Say this. Say that. Toss out an endless stream of threats and vitriol and perhaps some of it would stick like gum to the bottom of a shoe.
On and on it went. Each day something new. More taxes, which he called “tariffs” and a good thing for his subjects. He advised those who farmed the land to “have fun.” He fooled no one (OK, maybe some too many) with his spin on tariffs. Mass firings, deportations, funding cuts, closures and more (too many actions to count really) happened daily under the ruler’s authoritarian hand.
If anyone protested, spoke up or voiced opposition, the ruthless leader worked to quiet them. There were street snatchings and threats. Intimidation. Disrespect. Denial. Deflection. Distraction. Lies. Verbal attacks. He used all sorts of tactics to create fear, to suppress anyone who disagreed with him, his team and his/their words and actions. That included bullying the printers, lawyers and judges of the land, calling them all sorts of derogatory names. He threatened to come after them, to silence them, to show them who held the power. Sometimes he succeeded, sometimes not.
Yet, one plan appealed to the unsuspecting masses. And that was the opening of more candy stores, with promises to give away millions, perhaps even billions, of pounds of candy. To qualify, subjects needed only to sign an irrevocable loyalty pledge, which seemed reasonable on the surface. But there’s always the fine print. They would need to agree with the mighty ruler’s ideology and actions or risk losing four years of a free candy supply or, worse yet, be locked up for rebellious attitudes or other so-called subversive acts. If the subjects looked even closer at the fine print, they would see that candy shops were forbidden from carrying chocolate. Surely that would be the deal breaker for most because, well, who doesn’t love chocolate? All candy, in fact, was to be colorless.
But most failed to read the fine print, so focused were they on a four-year supply of free candy. Such a sweet deal. They trusted that the ruler had their best interests in mind. He didn’t. Even kids understand that too much candy can cause a tummy ache that leaves them regretting their selfish gluttony.
This, my friends, is no April Fool’s Day joke.
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FYI: While this short story is written as fiction, it is (as is most fiction) rooted in truth. It is also a commentary, a way for me to use my voice. Whether you agree or disagree with the content is your prerogative and right. Just note, though, that this is my personal blog and that I moderate all comments and have the final say in those I choose to publish or not.
© Copyright 2025 Audrey Kletscher Helbling
Minnesota Prairie Roots 
thank you for this allegory where candy is not sweet as it may first appear to those who don’t take the time to look closer. you are a brilliant writer.
Thank you, Beth. I will accept your compliment. So kind of you.
Very well-done Audrey. An excellent post. Loved reading it and I wholeheartedly recommend it for others to read.
Thank you. I appreciate your appreciative words.
Lost me. But, you probably don’t care because you are the one who wants to be king, but are merely the April Pompous Fool
Diana, it seems to me, based on your comment, that you mostly understand this story. However, I have no desire to be king, or queen, although I happily embrace a beloved aunt’s loving term of endearment for me. “My Little Princess.” I am no pompous April Fool, but rather a creative writer. Part of living in The Land of Plenty is that we can still voice our opinions and choose to disagree. And that you did today.
Very, very clever! 😁 Most fables have a happy ending (well, maybe not all of Grimm’s fairy tales), so let’s hope that this one (somehow) does too.
I’m hoping for a happy ending, too, but right now find that difficult to see. Thank you for appreciating my writing today.
Good Story Audrey. I agree! Happy April Fools Day!
A very clever comment. I appreciate you, Gunny, even when we disagree.
Nicely done, Audrey. Bet writing this tale was just a little bit cathartic.
Thank you, Kathleen. Yes, writing this proved cathartic.
What a powerful piece! I note this morning that he has withdrawn us from the Venice Biennale as it is “too diverse”. Stopping diversity is an exhausting, never ending process of course, as is consuming candy. Change comes unseen and unexpected, and with a stomach ache.
I worked on crafting this for quite a while yesterday and am pleased with the results. Thank you for appreciating this story. I haven’t heard or read any news this morning so I don’t know the latest. Each day brings something new and concerning.
Agree with the first comment; a powerful piece. Thank you for speaking up.
You’re welcome, Bernadette. I felt compelled to write this and April Fool’s Day seemed the ideal day to do so. We all need to speak up.
Well done Audrey! I forwarded this to others. A sad story!
Thank you, Valerie, and thank you for sharing. And, yes, this is a sad story.
This was a great post. I liked it because it took a lot of creativity to say what you wanted to say. There are some good morals to the story. And it wasn’t full of swearing and hatred.
All through history, ‘tariffs’ have been a way for robber barons to get richer, why do people think it would be different now? I’m desperate to understand.
Thank you, Rose. I especially appreciate that you took the time to tell me why you liked this post. I knew I had to be creative in the voicing of my thoughts. Like you, I don’t understand the “thinking it will be different.”
Audrey, this was very entertaining. I, for one, have been off chocolate since spring of 2008, so this concept of a candy store is perfect for me. Thanks for sharing your ideas, Kyle.
Thank you, Kyle. I wanted to write creatively to make my points.
I’m sorry you can’t eat chocolate any more.
Excellent creativity and clarity, as always. If only the joke was on us for just one day, not (input best guesstimate here) years
Thank you. And, yes, to the second half of your comment. I fear more years than four.