HIS STRONG STANCE, one boot planted in front of the other, ramrod posture all point to his disciplined military training. I am looking at a sculpture of a US soldier, a combat infantryman. As I study him, I gaze into his haunted eyes, eyes that, by my perception, reveal the horrors of war.
Perhaps it is my own father’s stories of fighting on the front-line during the Korean War that shape my reaction to this soldier replica at the Northfield Area Veterans Memorial. But this could be anyone’s interpretation. That of a daughter, like me, whose father suffered from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder after leaving the killing fields of Korea. Or this could be the story of any active duty war veteran, the story of a spouse or child who lost a loved one on the battlefield, the stories of too many.
This Memorial Day, I pause to remember those who gave the ultimate sacrifice—their lives—to assure my freedom. My dad’s Army buddy and friend Ray was among those. Ray died the day before he was to leave Korea and return to his wife and infant daughter in Nebraska. My father witnessed Ray’s death and it broke a part of him.
These are the personal details we need to remember on Monday, a national day of mourning and remembrance for those who died on the battlefield. Veterans’ memorials and parades and programs all provide ways to honor the brave men and women who died in service to country. But their stories are equally as important. These are, after all, individuals with friends and families, likes and dislikes, histories written long before they were drafted or enlisted and then called to war.
Many Minnesota communities have veterans’ memorials. While designs differ, they share the commonalities of a centerpiece sculpture, sometimes a soldier or an eagle or some other strong symbol; pavers with veterans’ names imprinted; American and other flags; and ways to recognize all branches of the military. It is the names, accompanied by the initials KIA, which break my heart. KILLED IN ACTION. I recognize the intense pain and heartbreak experienced by loved ones back home. The grieving families. The Gold Star Mothers, a mother who lost a child in service to country. The fatherless children, like Teri, the infant daughter of my dad’s buddy, Ray. Overwhelming grief imprints upon those stone pavers.
This Memorial Day, I encourage you to reflect on the war dead whom we honor on Monday. Walk through a cemetery and pause at the graves marked by small American flags. Attend a Memorial Day program not out of a sense of obligation, but out of gratitude. I feel thankful for a free press. Not every country has such freedom.
Spend time at a veterans’ memorial beyond a precursory walk through. Appreciate the words, the names, the symbols, the artwork. And, if a soldier sculpture centers the memorial, look into his eyes and remember this biblical quote pulled from the memorial service folder my dad carried home from Korea: Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends (John 15:13).
That July 31, 1953, service folder from Sucham-dong Korea lists 28 soldiers who died on the battlefield, among them my dad’s beloved buddy, Raymond W. Scheibe, age 22. It is my dad’s grief and trauma I see when I gaze into the eyes of that soldier sculpture in Northfield. War carries so much death and loss and pain. I vicariously understand that. This Memorial Day I remember, reflect, honor, carry on my heart the heaviness of war.
© Copyright 2023 Audrey Kletscher Helbling
Minnesota Prairie Roots 
Memorial Day: Honoring those who “gave all” May 21, 2026
Tags: commentary, death, holiday, Iran War, Kenyon Veterans Memorial Park, killed in action, Korean War, Memorial Day, Minnesota, Nicole Amor, Owatonna, Owatonna Veterans Memorial, Ray Scheibe, statues, SVJ Creative Designs, veterans, veterans' memorials, war
AS THE DAUGHTER of a U.S. Army infantryman who fought on the front lines during the Korean War, I find myself drawn to veterans’ memorials. They seem a sacred space, a place where bravery, service, strength, sacrifice and grief mingle.
Every memorial I’ve visited in southern Minnesota differs from the next. Yet the essence remains the same as a site to honor those who have served, some ultimately dying in service to country.
Memorial Day marks a national holiday to remember those who made the ultimate sacrifice by losing their lives. Whether necessary or unnecessary, war is hard and awful. It claims lives, forever changes people, rewrites history, traumatizes. My dad would tell you that. I saw firsthand the trauma Dad experienced from serving in Korea. He killed the enemy, so close he could see the whites of their eyes. He saw his friend blown apart on the battlefield the day before Ray was to return home to his wife and infant daughter in Nebraska.
For every story like this, thousands more exist.
And so every veterans’ memorial is a tribute to the men and women who are more than names and dates on plaques, but individuals with loving families, friends and communities. Individuals with stories from their time in service.
If I let my mind wander while viewing a veterans’ memorial, I can imagine the stories. Inspirational quotes, photos and life-size statues of military members make it easier for me to see beyond the names and dates to real people.
At every southern Minnesota veterans’ memorial I’ve visited, and I’ve been to a lot, statues have only portrayed male soldiers. Until recently. The Owatonna Veterans Memorial includes a female soldier. She stands next to a kneeling soldier with a battlefield cross. And on the far side of the memorial site stands a statue of a Vietnam War soldier carrying his fallen comrade draped across his shoulders.
“All gave some, some gave all.” Sgt. 1st Class Nicole Amor of White Bear Lake gave her all on March 1, 2026. She was among four American soldiers who died after a drone strike on a command center in Kuwait during the Iran War. The wife and mother of two was just days from returning home to Minnesota. Just like my dad’s 22-year-old friend Ray, who was killed in Korea 73 years ago on the day before he was to head home to Nebraska.
This Memorial Day, as this country is once again engaged in war, I wonder how many more men and women will die. How many more names will be added to memorials around the country with plaques noting KIA (killed in action)?
Monday may mean simply a day off to some or the kick-off to summer for others. But Memorial Day is really about honoring the brave men and women who have died in service to country. It’s important to remember that, to attend a Memorial Day parade or program, to walk among gravestones, to visit a veterans’ memorial. To focus on gratitude. To grieve. To remember and honor those who “gave all.”
FYI: The Owatonna Veterans Memorial is located on the northwest corner of 18th Street and Austin Road by the Steele County History Center. The Moonlighters Exchange Club spearheaded the project and fundraising for the memorial dedicated in November 2023.
© Copyright 2026 Audrey Kletscher Helbling