I NEARLY MESSED UP as a parent Wednesday morning.
“We had a pizza party in Mrs. Brown’s class yesterday,” my 16-year-old said as he pulled his backpack onto his shoulders.
“For what?” I asked.
“We won Toys for Tots,” he replied, explaining that his fourth hour prime time and trigonometry/pre-calculus class collected the most money to purchase Christmas gifts for needy children and was rewarded with pizza.
“Did you take anything?” I questioned, doubting that he participated since he hadn’t asked me for money.
“Fifteen dollars.”
That’s when I nearly said—but caught myself just in time—that $15 was “too much” to donate given my son isn’t currently working.
But, at the precise moment the “too much” phrase nearly tumbled out of my mouth, I realized the stupidity of what I was about to say.
Instead I praised his gift. “That was very generous. I’m proud of you.”
“Yeah,” he smiled, wrapped me in a tight hug and walked out the door.
© Copyright 2010 Audrey Kletscher Helbling
Minnesota Prairie Roots 
Good for your son and his class! It’s great that they all gave so much and good for you for biting your words. It’s an even bigger gift that he gave, given that he didn’t ask you and doesn’t have a steady source of income.
I was touched by my son’s generosity, and, like you said, that he did this on his own and did not ask me for money.
What a thoughtful teenage son! You and Randy must be doing something right. I am also impressed at the smile and hug. I don’t get many hugs “just because” from my teenager anymore. The four year old makes up for them though!! The funny thing is how they can be a totally different person an hour later or the next morning when you can only get a growl for a comment!
Typically, I get morning and evening hugs from my teen. Not always at night, but for certain on school day mornings. I can’t stress enough the importance of goodbye hugs. For me and my boy, who was struck nearly five years ago by a hit-and-run driver while crossing the street to his bus stop, those morning hugs are especially important.
Do not despair on your teen, Dawn. He’s a good kid and you and your hubby are wonderful and loving parents. It’s just that teens are moody and are nice one minute and not-so-nice the next. But we still love them. Lots!
I’m proud of you. Kids need the praise.
Yeah, I was proud of myself, too, for catching myself before it was too late.
But I’m more proud of my son.
You’re right. Kids need praise, but not too much and too often that it simply becomes meaningless. I’ve heard too many parents praise every word, every action, every breath, their child takes. That type of infinite praise seems fake to me and holds no validity for the child.
The hubby and I were talking about that topic the other day, how kids who compete now days get ribbons simply for participating. That’s overkill, we think. What’s wrong with giving ribbons only to those who earn top honors? Come on, ribbons for participating?
Sometimes I even struggle with rewards (yes, even the pizza party) for giving. If kids are giving because they really care and want to, that’s great. But if they’re mostly giving for a reward, well, then that’s not the right reason to give.
They did a food drive in the high school out here for Christmas. The incentive was the class who brought the most food in was given an extra day of Christmas break. Various shelves at the grocery store were low for a few days! Generosity of kids is great, it is my prayer that we can learn from them and give like them, even though it seems to get more difficult as we age.
I think a better way of doing this would have been to take the highest donating class to hand out some of their food to see how it does work. After volunteering at a food bank, you see many faces and many life paths, and learning is huge at that kind of venue.
Well said, Amy, and something for organizers of such events to ponder. I like your suggestion that students volunteer at a food shelf.
Kids getting an extra day of Christmas break is quite the incentive. I’ve never heard of that type of reward. Only in Kansas?
I haven’t heard about it anywhere else either. Hard telling. They do things differently out here…
Way to go, Mom. The best part about the whole story was the HUG.
Yes, the hug ranked tops with me. However, I was most touched by the fact that my son did this on his own, didn’t even ask me for money. To a 16-year-old currently not working, $15 is a lot of money to donate.
Good for your son. You must be proud. Not many boys his age would do such a thing. It was my feel good story for the night.
I am proud of my son for donating $15 of his own money to Toys for Tots. I try to remember moments like this when a teen moment gets to me. I’m happy to provide you with a feel good read.
awwww. what a sweet boy.
I know what you mean though about almost saying that it is too much.