Minnesota Prairie Roots

Writing and photography by Audrey Kletscher Helbling

Love one another: Amber & Marc’s wedding day September 30, 2013

Trinity Lutheran Church, decorated with ferns from my friend, Mike, and with hydrangea pew flowers created by my floral designer sister. Trinity is our family's church, where the bride was baptized and confirmed and attended Christian Day School.

Trinity Lutheran Church, decorated with ferns from my friend, Mike, and with hydrangea pew flowers by my floral designer sister, Lanae Feser of Waseca Floral. Trinity is our family’s church, where the bride was baptized and confirmed and attended Faribault Lutheran School.

Dear friends, since God so loves us, we also ought to love one another.—John 4:11

LOVE. GOD’S LOVE. The young couple’s love for one another. Love brought family and friends together at 4 p.m. Sunday, September 22, at Trinity Lutheran Church in Faribault, Minnesota, to witness the marriage of my daughter, Amber, and her now husband, Marc.

I love that they chose Sunday as their wedding day, although I know not all invited guests were pleased.

Amber and Marc. Photo by Minneapolis based Rochelle Louise Photography.

Amber and Marc. Photo by and courtesy of Minneapolis based Rochelle Louise Photography.

But Sunday, a day of rest, a day set aside for the Lord, seemed the perfect day for this couple to unite in marriage. Their faith has been an important part of their relationship from the beginning and will center their lives together.

John 4:11 was among their chosen Scripture readings.

Mr. and Mrs. Schmidt are absolutely, incredibly, in love. Photo by Rochelle Louise Photography.

Mr. and Mrs. Schmidt are absolutely, incredibly, in love. Photo by and courtesy of Rochelle Louise Photography.

They also chose, rather than to light a unity candle or pour sand from two containers into one, to share Communion. Just the two of them. The pastor noted in his message, how he appreciated this decision, how years ago Communion was a part of most Lutheran wedding services.

When the young couple partook of The Lord’s Supper together for the first time as husband and wife, tears edged into my eyes, just as they had earlier when my husband walked his daughter down the aisle. It was an emotional moment.

And even though the mother-of-the-groom vowed that she would not cry—and she didn’t—I would not, could not, make that promise. For I knew I would never keep it.

BEFORE THE WEDDING SNAPSHOTS:

The bride and her attendants with the stunning bouquets created by my floral designer sister, Lanae Feser of Waseca Floral. Photo by and courtesy of Rochelle Louise Photography.

The bride and her attendants with the stunning bouquets created by my floral designer sister, Lanae Feser of Waseca Floral. Photo by and courtesy of Rochelle Louise Photography.

The bridal party awaits the beginning of their photo shoot.

The bridal party awaits the beginning of their photo shoot. The second-hand bridal gown was purchased at Andrea’s Vintage Bridal in Minneapolis. The bridesmaids’ dresses were custom made by dressmakers in Hong Kong (I think) and purchased through etsey.

When my daughter tried on this dress, we all knew, just knew, it was the one for her. She had it taken in and a sash added with no other alterations made.

When my daughter tried on this beaded replica vintage dress, we all knew, just knew, it was the one for her. She had it taken in and a sash added with no other alterations.

Sister of the bride and maid of honor, Miranda.

Sister of the bride and maid of honor, Miranda.

A single hydrangea adorned each pew.

A single hydrangea adorned every other pew.

The wedding party heads outside for photos. No, I did not follow out of respect for the professional photographer.

The wedding party heads outside for photos. No, I did not follow out of respect for the professional photographers and at the bridal couple’s request. It’s best to stay out of the way. Because of that, dear readers, I took no formal wedding couple/group shots.

The flowers, oh, the flowers. My beyond talented sister, Lanae of Waseca Floral, created the bouquets.

The flowers, oh, the flowers. My beyond talented sister, Lanae of Waseca Floral, created the bouquets.

FYI: Please click here to check out the work of Minneapolis based Rochelle Louise Photography. This husband-wife team set a serene mood for the photo sessions with their relaxed and confident attitudes. I cannot wait to see the remaining results of their nine hours covering Amber and Marc’s wedding. From this first glimpse of their work in three of the photos so credited above, I am beyond impressed. Thank you, Rochelle and Tom. When you click onto Rochelle’s website, also click onto her blog to view her take on Amber and Marc’s wedding and some of her favorite photos.

Click here to reach Waseca Floral, where my sister, Lanae Feser, works as head designer.

To learn more about Andrea’s Vintage Bridal in Minneapolis, click here.

To view previous “My daughter’s wedding” posts, click here and then here and also here.

Two more wedding posts will be forthcoming.

© Copyright 2013 Audrey Kletscher Helbling

Photos by Rochelle Louise Photography are copyrighted and published here with permission.

 

Before the wedding, in black & white September 27, 2013

ARRIVING AT TRINITY LUTHERAN CHURCH in Faribault prior to the appointed family photo time at my daughter’s wedding on Sunday, September 22, I managed to sneak in a few photos without intruding. I hope.

Randy and I had come a bit earlier than we were supposed to be there. But I figured the parents could bend the rules ever so slightly as long as I stayed inside the church and did not follow the wedding party outdoors for the professional photo shoot.

Here are a few of my favorite pre-ceremony images, converted to black and white:

My daughter Amber, the bride.

My daughter Amber, the bride.

The bride lifts up her dress as she walks through the narthex.

The bride lifts her dress as she walks through the narthex.

Details inside the women's dressing/prep room.

Details inside the women’s dressing/prep room.

Miranda, the maid of honor, poses for a snapshot in the women's dressing room.

Miranda, the maid of honor, poses for a snapshot in the women’s dressing room.

Barb, the pianist, practices.

Barb, the pianist, practices.

Tim, an usher, waits.

Tim, an usher, waits.

And back in the changing room, the bride uses her smart phone.

And back in the changing room, the bride uses her smart phone.

On Monday I’ll bring you more images shot before the service, this time in color, including long-awaited (at least I think you’re waiting) photos of the bridal gown.

FYI: Click here and here to see the first two posts in this “My daughter’s wedding” series.

© Copyright 2013 Audrey Kletscher Helbling

 

An unexpected birthday treat September 26, 2013

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Me with my personalized birthday treat. Photo by Eric Schmidt.

Me with my personalized birthday treat. Photo by Eric Schmidt.

IN THE MIDST OF WEDDING preparations, I’d nearly forgotten that my birthday fell four days after my eldest daughter’s nuptials. That would be today, the day I edge another year nearer to 60 than to 50.

But my daughter’s new mother-in-law remembered, arriving with a gigantic birthday cookie on Saturday, wedding reception venue set-up day. Lynn is so incredibly thoughtful. She wanted to make sure I was remembered in all the busyness of wedding planning and prep. How sweet.

The other sweet thing is that the cookie was inscribed with “Happy Birthday Audrey!” I can’t recall ever having my name written on a birthday treat. Ever.

To be remembered like this, to have my family and my girl’s new family pause in reception set-up and sing Happy Birthday as my now son-in-law carried the personalized birthday cookie to me touched me deeply as did the photographs taken of me. It is wonderful to feel so loved and cherished.

(MORE WEDDING PHOTOS coming tomorrow, dear readers.)

© Copyright 2013 Audrey Kletscher Helbling

 

Veiling the bride, my daughter September 25, 2013

I REALLY WANTED TO BE THERE, to photograph my daughter, the bride-to-be, as she was getting her hair done on the morning of her Sunday, September 22, wedding.

But I couldn’t be in two places at one time. Setting up the rest of the reception venue, the part that couldn’t be done until the last minute, took top priority.

Thankfully, though, Amber’s bridal veil had not been put in place before I returned home to prepare lunch for the bridesmaids and personal attendants and the groom’s sister-in-law and my own family. I’d made barbecued pulled pork days earlier, had fruit cut up the evening before, cookies baked and only needed to throw together a lettuce salad at the last minute. My wonderful husband, Randy, assisted, easing the stress.

The first fitting of the veil.

The first fitting of the veil.

In between, I stole away a few minutes to photograph Amber being fitted with her bird-cage veil. I think that’s the proper term for the veil she purchased second-hand, the perfect fashion fit for her second-hand vintage replica dress. (Click here to read about shopping for a bridal gown at Andrea’s Vintage Bridal in Minneapolis.)

Moving in close; my daughter is used to me moving in with my camera.

My daughter is used to me moving in close with my camera.

As Alli, the professional hair stylist and a former classmate of Amber’s, angled the veil into position and then secured it, I literally got in my daughter’s face to photograph these moments in the upstairs bedroom she once shared with her sister and maid-of-honor, Miranda.

The bride, Amber, checks out the veil placement as her sister Miranda, left to right, future sister-in-law Stephani and mother-of-the-groom Lynn watch.

The bride, Amber, checks out the veil placement as her sister Miranda, left to right, future sister-in-law Stephani and mother-of-the-groom, Lynn, watch.

It was an emotional moment for me, for all of us in the room—Miranda and Amber and the groom’s mother, Lynn, and the groom’s sister-in-law, Stephani. And Alli, too.

Allie works the veil in to place.

Alli works the veil in to place.

Probably my favorite photo for the light and the  look.

Alli works her magic on Amber. Probably my favorite photo for the light and the serene look on the bride’s face.

We could feel it. We could see it.  We could hear it. Pure happiness in the bride’s face, in her eyes, in her grateful words.

The lovely back of the bride's hair do.

The lovely back of the bride’s hair do.

And later, after the others were done with their hair and lunch and most of them gone, and Alli was about to leave, I asked if she could do my hair. Last minute. So she pulled her tools from a cloth bag, plugged in the curling iron and I sat on the bathroom stool as she curled my hair.

Then, an hour before leaving for the wedding, I finally had time to sit down and polish my fingernails. Last minute, before slipping into my dress and heels for my eldest daughter’s wedding.

BONUS PHOTOS:

The maid-of-honor, my daughter Miranda, carries her sister's wedding gown to her car.

The maid-of-honor, my daughter Miranda, carries her sister’s wedding gown to her car.

Miranda carefully lifts the beaded replica vintage bridal gown for placement inside her car.

Miranda carefully lifts the beaded replica vintage bridal gown for placement inside her car. Look at the incredible “do” Alli created with Miranda’s curly hair. Alli said it’s her favorite style of any she’s ever done.

The sisters, my daughters, load wedding item necessities and Amber's belongings into the car. They joked about their plaid shirts.

The sisters, my daughters, load wedding item necessities and Amber’s belongings into the car. They joked about their plaid shirts.

The sisters buckle up and pose for one last photo before driving to church.

The sisters buckle up and pose for one last photo before driving to church. I would see them two hours later, per the bride and groom’s request that the parents stay clear of the church until family photo time.

CLICK HERE TO READ my first wedding post. Please check back for more wedding photos.

© Copyright 2013 Audrey Kletscher Helbling

 

Teamwork transformation of my daughter’s historic wedding reception venue September 24, 2013

LONG BEFORE THE WEDDING, the preparations begin.

Date chosen. Check.

Church, reception venue, caterer and floral designer booked. Check.

Dresses and dress shirts and other wedding attire selected and purchased. Check.

It takes hours and hours and hours, more than I ever imagined, to pull off a wedding.

It takes families working together and patience and love and endurance.

It takes trusting in others and prayer and encouragement and support and focus.

All of this I’ve learned. My eldest daughter’s wedding day on Sunday was near perfect from the weather to the pastor’s message to the ceremony to the toasts to the food to the venue to the flowers and everything in between.

There were only a few minor flaws, like running out of paper towels and a key that wouldn’t work for the supply room; two wedding party crashers who wandered in off the street and were about to help themselves to dessert before being escorted out; and an usher (the bride’s brother) who was in a Massachusetts hospital emergency room eight days before the wedding with an asthma attack and a severe viral infection (lots of people praying for his recovery; he was healed by wedding day).

Now, days after the wedding, I am sorting through photos and reflecting on everything, feeling blessed beyond measure that my daughter, Amber, has found the love of her life in Marc. Anyone who has seen the two of them together can see their deep love for one another. They are blessed. And so is this new mother-in-law. Blessed beyond measure.

TODAY I BRING YOU the first in a series of wedding posts, this one focusing on wedding reception venue prep and images. Enjoy this peek inside, in my opinion, one of Faribault’s most beautiful reception spaces, The Loft in the historic Bachrach Building along Central Avenue in downtown Faribault.

The Bachrach Building in downtown Faribault was beautifully restored several years ago to its original appearance. The Loft space is on the second floor in the back half of the building.

The Bachrach Building in downtown Faribault was beautifully restored several years ago to its original appearance. The Loft space is on the second floor in the back half of the building. It features exposed brick and limestone, wood floors and a bank of western windows. Great space with exceptional natural light.

The bride's brother, Caleb, steam presses tablecloths while the father-of-the-groom, Eric, works on setting tables.

The bride’s brother, Caleb, steam presses tablecloths while the father-of-the-groom, Eric, places napkins on tables.

The groom, Marc, worked just as hard as everyone else to transform The Loft.

The groom, Marc, worked just as hard as everyone else to transform The Loft.

The bride assumed sash tying duties. Only 115 sashes to tie.

The bride assumed sash tying duties. Only 115 sashes to tie.

Best man and brother of the groom, Jon Eric, folds napkins.

Best man and brother of the groom, Jon Eric, folds napkins.

The ironing crew, from left, maid-of-honor Miranda (the bride's sister), Lynn (mother of the groom) and Stephani (sister-in-law of the groom and reader). Ironing was, by far, the biggest and longest task. I ironed all of the sashes and napkins prior to set up day, so did little ironing of tablecloths.

The ironing crew, from left, maid-of-honor Miranda (the bride’s sister), Lynn (mother of the groom) and Stephani (sister-in-law of the groom and reader). Ironing was, by far, the biggest and longest task. I ironed all of the sashes and napkins prior to set up day, so did little ironing of tablecloths.

The Helbling and Schmidt families working together.

The Helbling and Schmidt families working together.

The father-of-the-bride, my dear husband, swept the downstairs Atrium area used for the social hour. He also vacuumed the stairs and other carpet, wisely avoiding any ironing or sash tying duties.

The father-of-the-bride, my dear husband, swept the downstairs Atrium area used for the social hour. He also vacuumed the stairs and other carpet, wisely avoiding any ironing or sash tying duties.

Outside, my floral designer sister, Lanae of Waseca Floral, fills urns with hydrangea from my yard and with ornamental kale and curly willow from her yard.

Outside, my floral designer sister, Lanae of Waseca Floral, fills urns with hydrangea from my yard and with ornamental kale and curly willow and greens from her yard. She is one talented floral designer and the BEST sister ever.

The floral designs my sister created outside the Bachrach Building and still in place.

The floral designs my sister created outside the Bachrach Building and still in place. If you like what you see, go to the “About Us” page on the Waseca Floral website and send her an email.

The first floor Atrium in set up process.

The first floor Atrium in set-up process. The table to the left held Faribault made cheeses purchased at The Cheese Cave which is just off this room to the right.

Looking down from The Loft into The Atrium.

Looking down from The Loft into The Atrium. My husband, Randy, and I set up this area Sunday morning. Missing from this photo are a vintage suitcase used for cards and set on the gift table, to the left.

Back upstairs, work continues on the reception set up.

Back upstairs, work continues on the reception set up.

After hours of teamwork...

After hours of teamwork…it all comes together.

My floral designer sister, Lanae of Waseca Floral, created these stunning centerpieces using mostly flowers from her garden and that of friend Carol. They were perfect. The vintage blue Ball canning jars were rented from Mike, who lives two blocks from me. I stopped at his garage sale this summer, saw the jars and learned about his jar rental.

My floral designer sister, Lanae of Waseca Floral, created these stunning centerpieces using mostly flowers from her garden and that of her friend and co-worker, Carol. The flowers were perfect. The vintage blue Ball canning jars were rented from Mike, who lives two blocks from me. I stopped at his garage sale this summer, saw the jars and learned about his jar rental.

Just another view of the beautiful The Loft space on the upper level of the historic Bachrach Building.

Just another view of the beautiful The Loft space on the upper level of the historic Bachrach Building.

A "sweetheart table" just for the bride and groom. It's covered in one of the vintage tablecloths from my collection. The table was purchased for $15 months ago at a Montgomery, Minnesota, used furniture store. At the time of purchase, my husband asked why I was buying it. "Because I like it," I told him then. Little did we know our daughter would use if for her wedding.

A “sweetheart table” just for the bride and groom. It’s covered in one of the vintage tablecloths from my collection. The table was purchased for $15 months ago at a Montgomery, Minnesota, used furniture store. At the time of purchase, my husband asked why I was buying it. “Because I like it,” I told him then. Little did we know our daughter would use it at her wedding reception.

Vintage wine glasses, gifted by the groom's parents, Herb and Norma. They flew in from the groom's native California for the wedding.

Vintage wine glasses, gifted by the groom’s grandparents, Herb and Norma. The Schmidts flew in from the groom’s native California for the wedding. Other of the groom’s family flew in from places like New Jersey, Pennsylvania and Mississippi.

One last view of the reception venue with a space left open for the dance floor. By around 5 p.m., The Loft was ready for guests to arrive 24 hours later.

One last view of the reception venue with a space left open for the dance floor. By around 5 p.m. Saturday, The Loft was ready for guests to arrive 24 hours later. Thank you, Schmidt family and my family and sister Lanae for all of your hard work in creating a beautiful reception setting.

Copyright 2013 Audrey Kletscher Helbling

 

My daughter gets married September 23, 2013

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Wedding sign

MORE PHOTOS TO COME, dear readers. But for now, this mother-of-the-bride is too exhausted to choose and edit images.

In synopsis: The wedding ceremony was beautiful, the bride gorgeous, the groom beaming, the venue elegant, the food outstanding and the celebration with family and friends absolutely the best.

Copyright 2013 Audrey Kletscher Helbling

 

A photo essay: A peek at wedding prep details September 20, 2013

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Only 115 chair sashes and napkins to iron.

Only 115 chair sashes and napkins to iron.

Listening to Peter Ostroushko's original score, "Minnesota, A history of the land," while ironing. Also listening to Christian radio station KTIS.

Listening to Peter Ostroushko’s original score, “Minnesota, A history of the land,” and a Josh Groban CD while ironing. Little did I know when I chose the Groban music that “Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring” would be among the selections. Also listening to Christian radio station KTIS to de-stress and focus.

Vintage blue canning jars have been rented and readied for bridal party and table bouquets.

Vintage blue canning jars rented and readied for bridal party and table bouquets.

The son's (usher's) shoes are shined, awaiting his arrival home from Boston.

The son’s (usher’s) shoes are shined, awaiting his arrival home from Boston.

Hydrangea have been picked and are drying in the garage, awaiting placement in urns outside the reception venue.

*Hydrangea have been picked and are drying in the garage, awaiting placement in urns outside the reception venue.

The father-of-the-bride has been fitted for, purchased and picked up his suit. He is anxious to have all those hydrangea out of the garage.

The father-of-the-bride has purchased his suit and his speech is written. (He is anxious to get the hydrangea out of the garage.)

Wedding programs are printed.

Wedding programs are printed.

And the couple is checking out wedding shot locations.

And the engaged couple is scouting out wedding photo locations.

* NOTE: Remember the story of the hydrangea thief?  I awoke one July morning to find about a dozen hydrangea plucked from the bushes in front of my home and strewn across the lawn and street.  Click here to read that vandalism post.  Not knowing whether the flower thief would return, my floral designer sister decided to supply the hydrangea for the wedding party and table bouquets and pew decorations. That way I would not need to worry about the hydrangea. Thank you, Lanae. The thief never returned. Two weeks ago I discovered that flowers in the beautiful urns outside the reception venue were dead. So I harvested nearly 40 hydrangea to fill those pots.

Copyright 2013 Audrey Kletscher Helbling

 

Packing his bags for Boston August 28, 2013

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HE FLEW INTO MINNESOTA from Washington state, arriving at Bethany Lutheran College in Mankato, Minnesota, with a suitcase and a clock.

His roommate came with an entourage of family and a car filled with belongings.

My friend Dave (not his real name) remembers the moment well. The roommate with all the stuff. And the roommate’s dad who surveyed the dorm room, then locked eyes on that alarm clock.

“Nice clock,” he complimented Dave, who, decades later, laughs about the comment.

My friend’s story pops into my mind as I consider my 19-year-old son’s departure early this morning for Medford, Massachusetts (near Boston), where he’s accepted transfer student admittance to Tufts University.

Will he feel like Dave, the odd man out, arriving via plane with two suitcases, a carry-on bag and his pillow?

The son poses after packing his belongings in his NDSU dorm room in May.

The son poses for a photo after packing his belongings in his North Dakota State University dorm room in May.

After minimal discussion, our family decided that, given the price of gas, food and lodging, it would not be cost effective for us to pack the son’s stuff into our van and drive east 1,400 miles to Medford and then back next spring.

I won’t miss the moving in and out of dorms that I expected would be a part of our lives for the next several years. My husband and I have done that already with our daughters, long graduated from college.

Only ?? miles to Fargo. We've already driven

On the road to Fargo.

And I definitely won’t miss the long road trips along Interstate 94 to Fargo, where our youngest attended North Dakota State University for a year, or the worry about blizzards and closed interstates.

But I will miss seeing my son settled in and the ability to visualize him in his dorm room or anywhere on the Tufts campus. There is a certain sense of security for a mother in both.

Yet, this is not about me. This is about my son, his education, his need to feel challenged, his happiness and his future. The opportunity to attend a noted and respected research university like Tufts, which offers admission to only 50 – 100 transfer student applicants per year, is huge.

The debt load that our boy will bear, however, also will be huge (compared to NDSU), even with a substantial and outstanding financial aid package. Without that needs-based funding, he couldn’t attend Tufts; we are grateful. Still, I worry about how he/we will come up with our expected family contribution toward his education. The annual cost to attend Tufts exceeds our family’s annual gross income.

My youngest brother, a successful Twin Cities attorney, tells me not to worry, that my computer engineering major son will earn good money upon graduation. I expect he’s right. Already the 19-year-old’s base hourly wage at a summer internship was higher than his dad’s base wage after more than 30 years as an automotive machinist. And everything I’ve read points to continued demand for computer engineers in jobs that pay well.

While at NDSU, my son worked and volunteered in the Technology Incubator as part of an Entrepreneurial Scholarship. He is walking away from two major scholarships at NDSU to attend Tufts University.

While at NDSU, my son worked and volunteered in the Technology Incubator as part of an Entrepreneurial Scholarship. He is walking away from two major scholarships at NDSU to attend Tufts University. This summer he lived in Rochester and worked for IBM. His work experience at both places have been great opportunities to grow and learn and build connections for his future.

If anything, I know my son is driven to learn and succeed. He’s already proven that via his academic, computer programming and gaming successes, and his experiences working for two technology companies and more.

But, still, he’s only 19 and my boy, setting off alone for Boston with his bags. And an alarm clock in his smart phone.

© Copyright 2013 Audrey Kletscher Helbling

 

Creative parenting: Let the painting & mud slinging begin August 26, 2013

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The kids, Braxton, left, Jack and Nevaeh, were thrilled to paint blocks, unlike me.

The kids, Braxton, left, Jack and Nevaeh, were thrilled to paint blocks, unlike me.

I SWEAR SHE would have locked me in the basement.

The sheetrock wall canvas.

The sheetrock wall canvas.

Billie Jo, a former preschool teacher and the mother of two school-aged youngsters, insisted. “You need to paint a brick, Audrey.” She emphasized “Audrey.”

The paint comes from the county recycling center.

The paint comes from the county recycling center.

There was no wiggling my way out of her demand, even if my friend was preoccupied with opening paint cans, stirring paint, handing out brushes, washing kids’ hands and wiping paint spills from the concrete basement floor.

See, I really was busy taking photos, here of Hannah. She's quite the artist who not only paints, but also sews. Plus, she writes poetry.

See, I really was busy taking photos, here of Hannah. She’s quite the artist who not only paints, but also sews. Plus, she writes poetry. Oh, and she made that pony tail holder in her hair.

feet

Painting in bare feet.

Jack creating his masterpiece.

Jack creating his masterpiece.

My excuse of “I’m busy taking pictures” wasn’t sliding by Billie Jo. Nope.

My, ahem, masterpiece.

My, ahem, masterpiece.

So, eventually, I set down my camera and picked up paintbrushes to paint a clutch of lilac hued flowers, my name and the year onto an orange brick painted upon a sheetrock wall. I’ve never pretended to be an artist, except perhaps in photography.

Where the project started, on the cement walls.

Where the project started, on the cement walls.

Prior to the sheetrock dividing wall construction, visitors to Billie Jo and Neal’s south Faribault home created art (a record of their visits) on a cement block wall in a corner of the basement. That area is now covered by totes in a storage room stocked full of board games, art supplies and more.

“Garage sales are great,” Neal says.

Braxton, in near constant motion, took time to paint.

Braxton, in near constant motion, took time to paint.

And so are he and Billie Jo and their kids, Nevaeh (heaven spelled backwards) and Braxton.

They are loving and kind and fabulous and generous and in the paperwork process of adopting, hopefully, two children from Colombia. These will be blessed children to join this fun-loving family. (International adoptions are costly, so if you wish to donate to the cause, email me personally or at audrey at mnprairieroots.com)

I love how they parent, reminding me of bygone times. They have no television, instead choosing board games and crafts and bike rides and storytime at the library and such to define their family togetherness.

My friends stretched a wood plank between their deck and an outdoor play cube for the kids to jump and run and do whatever kids’ imaginations tell them to do. The plank was added when Braxton was in his pirate phase.

Fun times at Billie Jo and Neal's mud party.

Fun times  for Hannah at Billie Jo and Neal’s mud party. The event included mixing of “potions” at the picnic table. Photo courtesy of Billie Jo.

Recently, they hosted a mud party, as in purchasing black dirt, shoveling it into a kids’ swimming pool, mixing in water and letting Nevaeh and Braxton and friends muck around.

Billie Jo tells me that clean-up lasted longer than the party. Here Braxton and Nevaeh pose. Photo courtesy of Billie Jo.

Billie Jo tells me that clean-up lasted longer than the party. Here Braxton and Nevaeh pose. Photo courtesy of Billie Jo.

If I hadn’t been out of town, I would have been there photographing the event. But, if Billie Jo had insisted I join the fun…

© Copyright 2013 Audrey Kletscher Helbling

 

Parenting: Letting go & moving on August 20, 2013

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THIS WAS OUR WEEKEND:

My husband photographs our eldest daughter and her fiance in front of the rental house that will soon be their new home.

My husband photographs our eldest daughter and her fiance in front of the rental house that will soon be their new home.

Saturday my husband and I helped our eldest daughter and her fiance move her belongings from south Minneapolis to the other twin city and the rental house they will share after their upcoming marriage.

The first van full of our son's belongings ready to be carried into our house.

The first van full of our son’s belongings ready to be carried into our house.

On Sunday we drove an hour southeast to pick up the first van load of our son’s possessions, to move back home to Faribault. In about a week, he flies out to Boston to start classes at Tuft’s University after a summer of working at IBM in Rochester and a year at North Dakota State University in Fargo.

It’s a bittersweet time for us, the parents.

The living room of the engaged couple's rental house.

The living room of the engaged couple’s rental house.

We are delighted that our daughter has found the love of her life. Yet, if I’m honest, there’s also a certain sadness in the realization that the 27 ½ years since her birth have passed, snap, just like that.

Likewise, the 19 ½ years since our son’s birth have passed, snap, just like that. Now he is flying 1,400 miles away to pursue his education, his dreams.

The other daughter lives 5 ½ hours away in northeastern Wisconsin. Nearly three years have passed, snap, just like that, since she finished college, completed an internship in Argentina and moved to Wisconsin for her job as a Spanish medical interpreter.

I suppose all empty nesters go through this phase, this wondering of how the years vanished, how we’ve grown in to the elders with gray hairs and lines creasing our foreheads. It is a time of adjustment and change for our entire family.

The kids no longer live at home, but our house has become a storage facility for some of their possessions like these belongings moved into our living room and then upstairs.

The kids no longer live at home, but our house has become a storage facility for some of their possessions like the son’s belongings moved into our living room and then upstairs. Where to put all of this stuff…and the rest yet to come in the second load.

There are times when I wish I could swoop my trio in, bring them all back, keep them close, turn the clock back.

A dear friend, who is the mother of four ranging in age from almost three to 14, asked how I did it, how I let go. I advised her to start when the kids are young, allowing them little by little to spread their wings. Sunday School and church camp. Nights out with my husband, leaving the kids in the care of a capable babysitter. Annual overnight get-aways for the kids with doting aunts and uncles. Then later, mission trips to Texas and to national church youth gatherings. Volunteer trips to help with hurricane relief. Trips overseas during high school (for one) and in college.

I specifically recall my eldest’s announcement only weeks in to her freshman year at Winona State University that she was joining a spring break mission trip to Paraguay. “Where’s that?” I asked.

I won’t lie. It was not always easy to see my three venture across the U.S. and abroad. It wasn’t even easy when I sent my eldest, as a kindergartner, to church camp a half hour drive away. It isn’t easy now putting my youngest on a plane to Boston. Yet with each letting go, I learned that I could entrust my children to the care of others, that they needed to achieve independence, to experience new things, to grow—away from me and their dad.

© Copyright 2013 Audrey Kletscher Helbling