Minnesota Prairie Roots

Writing and photography by Audrey Kletscher Helbling

Celebrating an enduring love of 50 years July 30, 2014

THE PHOTO FROM FIFTY YEARS ago is priceless. Six cousins, all nieces of the groom, step ladder lined up on the steep steps of Rock Dell Lutheran Church, rural Belview, Minnesota.

I'm third from the top.

I’m third from the top in this 50-year-old image tucked into a photo album.

I wish I remembered that moment when newlyweds, Merlin and Iylene Kletscher, descended the stairs. But I was only eight then, snugged between cousins, on that beautiful early November day in 1964. Or at least I assume the weather was unseasonably pleasant as we’re dressed like it’s summer.

Historic Odeon Hall in Belview.

Historic Odeon Hall in Belview.

Fast forward fifty years and I’m back in Belview, this time at Odeon Hall, an historic 1901 community center next to city hall and the fire department and within a block of my aunt and uncle’s home. They recently moved back to Iylene’s hometown.

The crowd dwindles as the 50th anniversary party comes to a close.

The crowd dwindles as the 50th anniversary party comes to a close. The honored couple are to the left front.

I am there with my husband and hundreds of others celebrating the couple’s 50th wedding anniversary several months early.

Merlin and Iylene's wedding photo served as a table decoration.

Merlin and Iylene’s wedding photo served as a table decoration.

And I wonder, as I reconnect with cousins and other aunts and uncles, how fifty years have passed.

Dyed bridesmaid's shoes from the November 7, 1964, wedding.

Dyed bridesmaid’s shoes from the November 7, 1964, wedding.

It seems only yesterday I was an 8-year-old wearing cat eye glasses, hair pulled back with a barrette, dressed in my Sunday best button back green corduroy jumper and white blouse perched on those steps in my shiny black patent leather shoes.

Iylene's wedding dress (which she sewed) and veil and Merlin's suit.

Iylene’s wedding dress (which she sewed) and veil and Merlin’s suit.

Yesterday.

Cake to celebrate 50 years of marriage.

Cake to celebrate 50 years of marriage.

But yesterday was fifty years ago, when high school sweethearts Merlin, 19, and Iylene, 20, pledged their love to one another before family and friends in a small country church. Within six years, they had four children.

Merlin and Iylene today.

Merlin and Iylene today.

What a blessing to have a half century together.

A little lunch was served at the anniversary party.

A little lunch was served at the anniversary party.

Fifty years are worth celebrating.

Guests linger as the party ends.

Guests linger as the party ends.

And I was delighted to be there, as I was on November 7, 1964, to congratulate my aunt and uncle, this time fully appreciating the depth of their love for one another.

© Copyright 2014 Audrey Kletscher Helbling

 

Love’s memory May 17, 2014

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Bouquet 1

CERTAINLY HE DIDN’T RECOGNIZE the significance of his choice—yellow and orange sweetheart roses in a vase tied with a yellow gingham ribbon.

Even I didn’t realize until the day after how the color choice and the ribbon transcended time. Men don’t often notice these details. And I nearly missed them in the bouquet he gave me.

On May 15, 1982, yellow sweetheart roses and babies breath ringed my short-cropped hair on our wedding day.

Bouquet, roses close-up

On Thursday, our 32nd wedding anniversary, my husband gave me a bouquet of yellow and orange sweetheart roses accented with babies breath.

Yellow roses were my bridal day flower of choice, along with daisies.

Bouquet, yellow gingham ribbon

I also stitched yellow and white checked aprons for my cousins who waited on tables at our wedding reception.

Bouquet, orange roses

It took me an entire day to connect the past to the present. And when I did, I leaned in and breathed even more deeply the fragrance of love’s memory.

© Copyright 2014 Audrey Kletscher Helbling

 

Thirty-two years together May 15, 2014

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HOW DOES ONE define a love of 32 years?

My sister-in-law Vivian summarizes it well in a quote from Warren Hanson penned in an anniversary card my husband and I received yesterday.

“…as two souls become one spirit, with one heart, one history.”

Audrey and Randy, May 15, 1982

Audrey and Randy, May 15, 1982

Thirty-two years ago today, Randy and I began our married life together. It hasn’t always been easy. But life never is. Through joys and challenges, we have supported and loved one another. Yes, I’ve ranted and cried and he’s listened and held and reassured.

We’ve laughed.

We’ve danced in the living room, as recently as Sunday evening to a DVD concert selected because he knows how much I love Elton John’s “Crocodile Rock.”

We pray together, for each other, our family, friends—so many in need.

He recently gave up a company dinner to attend a poetry reading in which I was participating.

I’ve tagged along to farm and car shows, then discovered why he finds them so interesting.

I worked beside him once for a few hours and learned I can’t do what he does. Nor can he do what I do. We appreciate each other and our talents.

On Sunday afternoons we sometimes hop in the van and journey along gravel roads and into small towns, pausing when the mood suits us. There’s no hurry to return home now with the kids gone and only us again.

Two. A couple. A pair. Just like we started, except closer now for the singular spirit, the one heart, the shared history.

© Copyright 2014 Audrey Kletscher Helbling

 

Defining Valentine’s Day love February 14, 2014

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Floral bouquet full

SIX DAYS BEFORE VALENTINE’S DAY, as I shoveled snow from the driveway for the umpteenth time, my husband arrived home from work, opened the front passenger side door of the Chrysler and presented me with flowers.

Have I told you how much I love this man?

Floral bouquet, really close-up

He knows me so well, enough to realize that at that moment, on that Saturday afternoon, I needed this bouquet bursting in brilliant spring colors of mostly sunshine yellow and sweet orchid.

I love when he gives me flowers for no particular reason except a realization that I “need” them.

Floral bouquet, close-up

Now some women might protest such a gift as an unnecessary expense. Not me. I will claim and celebrate and embrace this symbol of my husband’s thoughtfulness, love and care.

He needs to give these flowers as much as I need to receive them. I will not deny him this joy.

To each of you this Valentine’s Day, I wish you such moments of thoughtfulness and love. You deserve them, whether you are in a committed relationship or not. You do not need to be “in love” to celebrate Valentine’s Day.

A friend and I recently discussed the relationship pressures we as a society place on young people. Typically this begins after high school graduation, with “So how are the boys/girls?” I myself have asked this. I should know better because I, too, was subjected to such questioning 30-plus years ago. I married at nearly 26, considered “old” by 1982 standards, “young” by today’s.

Since that conversation, I’ve vowed not to knowingly place such pressure on others. Rather, I will focus on the individual, his/her interests and life. That is cause to celebrate. We are each our own person, whether in a romantic relationship or not.

This February 14, consider the broader definition of Valentine’s Day. It is not all about romance. It is also about the care and love between a child and a parent, friends, siblings, co-workers, neighbors…

It is, too, about loving and respecting ourselves as unique individuals created and loved by God.

© Copyright 2014 Audrey Kletscher Helbling

 

In love: A photo essay October 2, 2013

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A sweet kiss at their wedding reception sweetheart table set just for them.

Moving closer for a kiss at their wedding reception sweetheart table.

THEY ARE SO INCREDIBLY in love, my daughter Amber and her husband, Marc, the new Mr. and Mrs. Schmidt, married on Sunday, September 22, 2013.

Sweet

Pure love, joy and happiness during that first dance together as husband and wife.

You can see it in the way they look at one another,

First dance...

First dance…

in the way they hold one another,

Love in a snapshot.

Love in a snapshot.

in the way they are when they are together.

The couple's car, decorated and parked along Central Avenue in historic downtown Faribault, across the street from the reception venue, The Loft in the Bachrach Building.

The couple’s car, decorated and parked along Central Avenue in historic downtown Faribault, across the street from the reception venue, The Loft in the Bachrach Building.

Newlyweds beginning their journey together through life as one, loved by God and family and friends, loving one another with a depth that takes your breath away.

FYI: This concludes my series of wedding posts. Please check my archives if you missed the previous postings beginning last week and continuing in to this week. And if you missed professional photos of Amber and Marc’s wedding day by Rochelle Louise Photography, click here. 

Copyright 2013 Audrey Kletscher Helbling

 

Love one another: Amber & Marc’s wedding day September 30, 2013

Trinity Lutheran Church, decorated with ferns from my friend, Mike, and with hydrangea pew flowers created by my floral designer sister. Trinity is our family's church, where the bride was baptized and confirmed and attended Christian Day School.

Trinity Lutheran Church, decorated with ferns from my friend, Mike, and with hydrangea pew flowers by my floral designer sister, Lanae Feser of Waseca Floral. Trinity is our family’s church, where the bride was baptized and confirmed and attended Faribault Lutheran School.

Dear friends, since God so loves us, we also ought to love one another.—John 4:11

LOVE. GOD’S LOVE. The young couple’s love for one another. Love brought family and friends together at 4 p.m. Sunday, September 22, at Trinity Lutheran Church in Faribault, Minnesota, to witness the marriage of my daughter, Amber, and her now husband, Marc.

I love that they chose Sunday as their wedding day, although I know not all invited guests were pleased.

Amber and Marc. Photo by Minneapolis based Rochelle Louise Photography.

Amber and Marc. Photo by and courtesy of Minneapolis based Rochelle Louise Photography.

But Sunday, a day of rest, a day set aside for the Lord, seemed the perfect day for this couple to unite in marriage. Their faith has been an important part of their relationship from the beginning and will center their lives together.

John 4:11 was among their chosen Scripture readings.

Mr. and Mrs. Schmidt are absolutely, incredibly, in love. Photo by Rochelle Louise Photography.

Mr. and Mrs. Schmidt are absolutely, incredibly, in love. Photo by and courtesy of Rochelle Louise Photography.

They also chose, rather than to light a unity candle or pour sand from two containers into one, to share Communion. Just the two of them. The pastor noted in his message, how he appreciated this decision, how years ago Communion was a part of most Lutheran wedding services.

When the young couple partook of The Lord’s Supper together for the first time as husband and wife, tears edged into my eyes, just as they had earlier when my husband walked his daughter down the aisle. It was an emotional moment.

And even though the mother-of-the-groom vowed that she would not cry—and she didn’t—I would not, could not, make that promise. For I knew I would never keep it.

BEFORE THE WEDDING SNAPSHOTS:

The bride and her attendants with the stunning bouquets created by my floral designer sister, Lanae Feser of Waseca Floral. Photo by and courtesy of Rochelle Louise Photography.

The bride and her attendants with the stunning bouquets created by my floral designer sister, Lanae Feser of Waseca Floral. Photo by and courtesy of Rochelle Louise Photography.

The bridal party awaits the beginning of their photo shoot.

The bridal party awaits the beginning of their photo shoot. The second-hand bridal gown was purchased at Andrea’s Vintage Bridal in Minneapolis. The bridesmaids’ dresses were custom made by dressmakers in Hong Kong (I think) and purchased through etsey.

When my daughter tried on this dress, we all knew, just knew, it was the one for her. She had it taken in and a sash added with no other alterations made.

When my daughter tried on this beaded replica vintage dress, we all knew, just knew, it was the one for her. She had it taken in and a sash added with no other alterations.

Sister of the bride and maid of honor, Miranda.

Sister of the bride and maid of honor, Miranda.

A single hydrangea adorned each pew.

A single hydrangea adorned every other pew.

The wedding party heads outside for photos. No, I did not follow out of respect for the professional photographer.

The wedding party heads outside for photos. No, I did not follow out of respect for the professional photographers and at the bridal couple’s request. It’s best to stay out of the way. Because of that, dear readers, I took no formal wedding couple/group shots.

The flowers, oh, the flowers. My beyond talented sister, Lanae of Waseca Floral, created the bouquets.

The flowers, oh, the flowers. My beyond talented sister, Lanae of Waseca Floral, created the bouquets.

FYI: Please click here to check out the work of Minneapolis based Rochelle Louise Photography. This husband-wife team set a serene mood for the photo sessions with their relaxed and confident attitudes. I cannot wait to see the remaining results of their nine hours covering Amber and Marc’s wedding. From this first glimpse of their work in three of the photos so credited above, I am beyond impressed. Thank you, Rochelle and Tom. When you click onto Rochelle’s website, also click onto her blog to view her take on Amber and Marc’s wedding and some of her favorite photos.

Click here to reach Waseca Floral, where my sister, Lanae Feser, works as head designer.

To learn more about Andrea’s Vintage Bridal in Minneapolis, click here.

To view previous “My daughter’s wedding” posts, click here and then here and also here.

Two more wedding posts will be forthcoming.

© Copyright 2013 Audrey Kletscher Helbling

Photos by Rochelle Louise Photography are copyrighted and published here with permission.

 

Showering the bride-to-be (my daughter) with gifts & love August 6, 2013

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MY HUSBAND’S ELDEST SISTER suggested early on that I put away my camera.

But how could I, with no other camera in sight, set aside my Canon and simply allow the events of the afternoon to imprint upon my memory only?

Guests filled the living room and spilled into the dining room for my daughter's Saturday afternoon bridal shower.

Guests fill the living room and spill into the dining room for my daughter’s Saturday afternoon bridal shower.

I needed to visually capture these moments in which my eldest daughter, Amber, was showered with gifts and love at her bridal shower.

The bride-to-be opens gits.

When I look back now on these images, I remember the laughter, the emotions, the excitement, the joy, the delight that comes in knowing your daughter has grown in to this incredible young woman who is head-over-heels in love…

Shower, gift

White lace and white bows.

My floral designer sister Lanae created these bouquets, which include flowers that will be among the wedding flowers.

My floral designer sister Lanae created these bouquets, which include blooms that will be among the wedding flowers.

Flowers and chocolate and “fu fu.”

The most emotional moment of the shower came when Amber opened linens hand embroidered by her future husband's maternal grandmother, who died in 1992. She embroidered the linens to be gifted to her grandson's future bride.

The most emotional moment of the afternoon came when Amber opened linens hand embroidered by her future husband’s maternal grandmother, Beatrice (who died decades ago). The linens were to be gifted someday to Beatrice’s grandson’s bride-to-be. And this was the day when my daughter’s future mother-in-law delivered the precious packages. The embroidered hues of the flowers are the wedding couple’s colors, making this gift even more remarkable as Grandma Beatrice could not have known this.

Linens, a legacy of love and tears.

The gift of a clothes hamper prompted me to share that 30-plus years ago, the aunts on my father's side always gifted brides-to-be with a hamper and a bathroom scale.

The gift of a clothes hamper prompted me to share that 30-plus years ago, the aunts on my father’s side always gifted brides-to-be with a hamper and a bathroom scale. After much laughter, the group consensus was that a scale would not be a welcome gift. Times have changed. I still have my brown hamper, which looks quite similar to my daughter’s, but not the scale. That broke years ago.

Pots and pans and knives. A hamper for their clothes. The tools to create their new home.

Shower, recipe

Her husband-to-be’s favorite recipes handwritten by his mother, Lynn, who flew in from California for the bridal shower.

Personal messages written from the heart inside cards.

Hugs and well wishes.

Wishes shared...and read.

And lovely words to read.

She was gifted with a personalized bag bearing her new last name of Schmidt.

She was gifted with towels and a personalized bag bearing her new last name of Schmidt.

Soon Amber Helbling will become Amber Schmidt.

The bride-to-be with her soon-to-be husband.

Amber and Marc

My daughter. My sweet girl. All grown up. And, oh, so in love with Marc.

BONUS PHOTOS:

The wonderful family and friends who gathered at my sister-in-law Joanne's house for the bridal shower.

The wonderful family and friends who gathered at my sister-in-law Joanne’s house for the bridal shower.

As always, my floral designer sister created a beautiful gift package.

As always, my floral designer sister created a beautiful gift package.

The delicious food, especially the dessert on the right. That's my 81-year-old mom to the right. She traveled several hours to attend her granddaughter's shower.

The delicious food, especially the dessert on the right made by my husband’s eldest sister. That’s my 81-year-old mom to the right. She traveled several hours from southwestern Minnesota to attend her granddaughter’s shower.

© Copyright 2013 Audrey Kletscher Helbling

 

Lilacs May 28, 2013

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EACH MAY HE GIFTS me with the intoxicating scent of spring. A bouquet of lilacs, gathered from a bush in the park up the hill.

Lilac, 1 - Copy

Typically my husband stops on his way home from work, pulls a jacknife from the pocket of his greasy work pants, sometimes stands on the tips of his Red Wing work shoes to saw tough, determined stems clinging to a gnarly bush.

Lilac, close-up

But this year, on the eve he drove down the gravel road into the park, he found the lilacs still tight-closed, not yet ready to unfurl in the chill of a late spring.

Lilac, close-up 2 - Copy

A few days later, en route home from dinner out, I noticed lilacs in full bloom. Instead of turning into our driveway, Randy aimed uphill toward the park, entering past a group of teens playing Frisbee golf.

Lilac, 5 - Copy

I can only imagine their chatter as they witnessed us, in our white mini van, parked beside the lilac bush, Randy cutting lilac stems, me shooting photos.

Lilac, on table 1 - Copy

They do not understand yet—what it means to see your hardworking husband walk through the door each May with an armful of  lilacs, the spring blooms filling your home with the heady scent of love.

© Copyright 2013 Audrey Kletscher Helbling

 

The proposal March 20, 2013

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HE ASKED.

She said, “Yes!”

And I’m going to be the mother-of-the-bride.

Monday evening, on the one-year anniversary of dating, Marc proposed to my eldest, Amber.

Marc and Amber, newly-engaged and celebrating at the St. Paul Grill. Marc ordered a steak, saying, "That is what a man does after he asks a woman to marry him."

Marc and Amber, newly-engaged and celebrating at the St. Paul Grill. Marc ordered a steak, saying, “That is what a man does after he asks a woman to marry him.”

I am excited and happy and thrilled, all those joyful words reserved for those occasions when you feel blessed beyond measure.

I am going to be a mother-in-law, welcoming a wonderful son-in-law into our family. Marc is all I could ever hope for in my daughter’s husband. He is a man of faith. He loves and cherishes my girl and makes her incredibly happy.

From the first photo I saw of the two of them together, I knew, just knew, they were totally head over heels in love. I could see it in their eyes, in their broad smiles, in the way they leaned into one another. I just knew.

Amber and Marc in Bakersfield, Ca., Marc's hometown.

Amber and Marc in Bakersfield, Ca., Marc’s hometown.

For months they long-distance dated, flying back and forth between LA and Minneapolis. The time between visits grew shorter until, finally, Marc relocated to St. Paul last October, shortening their dating miles to the drive between the Twin Cities.

I understood, with absolute certainty then, that this relationship would result in an eventual proposal of marriage.

The ring.

The ring. Beautiful.

The obvious question, then, is how did these two, a native Minnesotan and a native Californian, meet? Beth, a college friend (of Amber) who lives in California and who met Marc via another college friend, thought the two would be a good match. Text messages, Facebook exchanges and phone conversations preceded their first date in March of last year.

I became aware of Marc only after Amber, who had visited Beth in the fall of 2011, announced in March 2012 that she was flying to California. Again.

“Why would you want to go to California?” I inquired of her. “You were just there.”

“Well, there’s this boy…”

Now that boy will become my daughter’s husband.

I snapped this photo of Marc and Amber walking across the parking lot at Faribault High School after my son's graduation in early June. It's one of my favorite images of the couple.

I snapped this photo of Marc and Amber walking across the parking lot at Faribault High School after my son’s graduation in early June. It’s one of my favorite images of the couple just because, ya know, it’s so sweet. Now they are walking into their future together.

© Copyright 2013 Audrey Kletscher Helbling

Photos courtesy of Amber and Marc

 

Reflecting on motherhood & my February babies February 7, 2013

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WHEN YOU ARE PARENTING little ones—changing diapers, wiping away boogers, dealing with temper tantrums—you wonder if you will ever have time for yourself again, even just a minute alone to go to the bathroom in peace.

My oldest daughter at 12 days old. Already then she was a Minnesota Twins fan, in this hand-me-down sleeper.

My oldest daughter at 12 days old. Already then she was a Minnesota Twins fan, in this hand-me-down sleeper.

Then, before you know it, your babes are off to kindergarten and the 24/7 parenting eases, even though you never truly stop parenting.

Several years later you are thrust into the turbulent teens which, in many ways, resemble the terrible twos you thought were left behind.

But soon enough, you are sitting on hard bleachers in a stuffy and crowded high school auditorium, a lump in your throat, tears rimming your eyes as your 18-year-old graduates. And in that moment you realize that your child, your baby, has grown up, just like that.

That realization particularly strikes me this February, the month in which my eldest and my youngest were born a day shy of eight years apart.

My 10 lb., 12 oz., son at two days old. He was the biggest baby in the nursery and the hospital did not have diapers to fit him.

My 10 lb., 12 oz., son at two days old. He was the biggest baby in the nursery and the hospital did not have diapers to fit him.

My son, my youngest, started college this past summer, 300 miles away in North Dakota.

His oldest sister fell in love this past year with a native Californian and I thought for awhile that she, too, might leave Minnesota like her brother and sister before her. But instead, the boyfriend moved here, to the Twin Cities.

Distance marks, for me, the most difficult part now of being a mother. Distance equals separation and not seeing my kids as often as I would like. Even though we talk on the phone, text and e-mail, that just is not the same as face-to-face communication or giving them a hug.

I joke to them that I should have locked them in the basement, not allowed them to go anywhere. But they know I jest because I have always encouraged them to pursue their dreams, to travel, to be adventurous. And they are, all three of them.

The eldest is spending her birthday in LA. The son will be celebrating in Fargo. And shortly after those birthdays, the other daughter will drive the 300 miles from northeastern Wisconsin back to Minnesota to board a plane for Argentina, 6,000 miles away. I try not to think about that distance, about her last visit there, when she was mugged.

Instead, I will focus on how blessed I am to be the mother of these three, to have nurtured and loved them, to delight now in the adults they have become, to cherish each moment I have with them.

My three, after the son's June 2012 graduation.

My three, after the son’s June 2012 graduation.

On the birth days of my children, I experienced a love unlike any other, for in their births I understood the enduring depths of a mother’s love.

Happy birthday to my two February babies! I love you now and forever.

To my other girl, I love you too. And remember, “home” is in the Midwest, not South America.

© Copyright 2013 Audrey Kletscher Helbling