Minnesota Prairie Roots

Writing and photography by Audrey Kletscher Helbling

Dance, smile, toss confetti, spread joy… September 30, 2019

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THE BEST GIFTS cannot be bought. How often have you heard that cliché? It’s true.

We each hold the capacity to give gifts that hold value far beyond anything that can be purchased. For example, when I celebrated my birthday last week, I received several unexpected gifts that brought me profound joy. Joy as in crying and experiencing an overall feeling of being deeply loved.

 

 

 

The first arrived in my mailbox, by all appearances just a birthday card sealed inside an envelope. But when I opened the card, I discovered a clutch of colorful sticky notes. Upon those neon slips of paper, a friend and her family penned powerful words of encouragement and love. Exactly what I needed.

How could I not feel joyful when I’m told I’m loved and that God created me to do amazing things?

 

Minnesota Prairie Roots file photo 2018.

 

The simple word SMILE, written in an artsy font, prompted a smile.

Now I have that stack of uplifting notes to remind me that Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass; it’s about dancing in the rain. I needed to read that perspective and my friend knew it.

Then several hours later my dear Aunt Dorothy called from New Jersey to wish me a happy birthday. She’s the aunt who lived in Minneapolis when I was a child and who gave me her old nail polish and lipstick and jewelry and made me feel so loved, especially with her endearing name for me, My Little Princess. All these decades later, Dorothy still calls me that sweet name. Not simply Little Princess. But My Little Princess. I feel so loved.

 

 

And then, just as Randy was preparing to cook dinner on my birthday (because I refuse to cook on my birthday), my niece Tara arrived with her sweet family. She held a box containing six fancy cupcakes from Cream of the Cakes in Lakeville. I never expected this. And that’s the sweetness of this act. This young mom took time out of her busy life to not only buy those delicious cupcakes but then to drive 20 some minutes to deliver them. And bonus, I got wonderful hugs from my great nephew who is, as he told me, three. Not two.

Add to that a bouquet of garden-fresh hydrangea from a friend earlier in the week and flowers from Randy and I feel pretty darned loved. Calls, emails and a video chat with the grandkids brought more birthday joy. The best gifts cannot be bought.

I challenge you this week to reach out to someone who needs the gift of joy—of uplifting words, of a simple act of love and kindness, of a surprise gift. As my friend printed on a sticky note: Be the reason someone smiles today!

© Copyright 2019 Audrey Kletscher Helbling

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What you should & shouldn’t say to someone with a broken bone July 2, 2018

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Just days after open reduction internal fixation wrist surgery, the swelling in my fingers is diminishing.

 

I PONDERED WHETHER I should pen this post because many kind words have been extended to me since my fall and subsequent surgery on my broken left arm. Thank you.

But many other words have also been offered that don’t help me or my situation. So if I come across as a tad cranky in this post, it’s because I am. My humor, tolerance and Minnesota Nice only stretch so far.

Following is a short list of comments which I’ve heard and which you should not make to someone with a broken bone. I’ll follow that with a list of ways to encourage and help. We can all learn from one another, right?

Here goes.

DO NOT call me a klutz. I’m not. My fall on rain-slicked wooden steps was an accident. Simple as that.

DO NOT state or suggest (while laughing or not laughing)) that my husband pushed me. He didn’t. There’s nothing funny about domestic violence. I won’t dwell. Click here to read an earlier post on that topic.

DO NOT tell me I broke my arm because I don’t drink enough milk or eat enough cheese, yogurt or other dairy products. That’s like telling a cancer patient she ate too many red Popsicles or a heart attack victim that he didn’t eat enough oatmeal. Not helpful.

I defy anyone who fell as I did not to break a bone. A friend who worked as an ER nurse tells me broken arms are common in falls as we instinctively try to break a fall with our hands. My doctor noted in my records, in layman’s language, that the fall caused my arm bone to break. Not a lack of consuming enough dairy.

So what should you say? Here’s what I’ve found helpful: A simple “I’m sorry” works. Or, “How are you feeling?” Or something similar. There is no fault-finding, no accusations, no name-calling. Simply kindness.

Get well cards and encouraging emails/texts/calls also go a long ways in uplifting. Ask how the person is doing. And, please, don’t deflect the conversation to a lengthy story about your (or a family member’s) broken bone experience. I’m not selfish. But are we talking about you or me here?

Additionally, I really appreciated the meals my niece Amber prepared for us. I need to remember that myself and reach out to others with food in their times of need. Cookies baked by my 24-year-old son and his girlfriend and shipped from Boston likewise fed my body and soul. As did flowers from Randy and a thoughtful gift sent by a friend in North Carolina.

Everything I’ve written here is pretty common sense. Sometimes we just need to pause and think before blurting out words that aren’t at all helpful.

THOUGHTS?

© Copyright 2018 Audrey Kletscher Helbling

 

On the road to recovery, an update June 9, 2017

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“I DON’T LIKE YOU,” I told him.

“Most people don’t,” he answered.

And we both laughed. Laughed because I really did like him and he wasn’t to blame for the bad news he shared. As a former journalist, I understand well the habit readers have of blaming the messenger. And now I was doing that to a medical professional.

 

The bruising on my injured right arm has decreased considerably on the front with the bruising (not shown here) shifting to the back of my elbow.

 

What could I do except joke and laugh when my ortho doctor on Wednesday afternoon revealed that total healing and recovery time from my broken shoulder could stretch up to 16 weeks? That’s four more than he told me during our initial visit two weeks ago. Sigh.

And then, as we chatted about the elbow flexing and pendulum exercises I am now doing at home, I found myself in a bit of trouble. I had been doing more than three flex sessions and arm swings daily. “More is not better,” he said, noting that he had me pegged as someone who would do just that. More. Busted.

I like my doctor. He has a great sense of humor, empathy and a personality that is down-to-earth approachable and friendly. I never feel rushed with him. He listens and he answers. And I’m trying to abide by his admonition to “stop when it hurts.” I’m trying, like he says, to rest. I don’t want my bone break, which widened a bit to 2.8 millimeters, to crack wider. Shoulders apparently take a long time to heal.

After that bit of news yesterday, I felt a tad discouraged. But then, because I can choose to be positive, I remembered his words of “everything looks good” upon viewing my latest x-rays. Good is good.

Good is also the continuing encouragement of family and friends. My eldest daughter sends me photos of my granddaughter nearly daily and that makes me happy. I used Google Hang-outs for the first time the other day and that was great, to see and hear darling Isabelle.

 

My friend Kathleen sent a lovely vintage card along with the sweetest message. The thing about the card is the specific selection just for me. Kathleen knows I have chosen hope as a focus word in my life. Long before this accident. She remembered.

 

 

And then Thursday afternoon, I received a bouquet of sunny yellow and white daisies from my sister Lanae and her husband, my niece Tara and her husband and their baby and the couples’ cats.

 

 

And recently I received a handcrafted metal cross from my artist friend Steve, who in his own quiet and creative way offers such encouragement and support.

We all have our burdens to bear in life. That’s a given. I don’t care who you are. But we are not alone. It is in times like this that I fully realize the importance of being there for each other—whether through a card sent, a word spoken, a gift given, a bouquet of flowers sent, prayers offered, well wishes written.

Thank you, dear readers, for being here for me. I will continue to update you occasionally on my recovery.

Have a wonderful weekend and take the time today to encourage someone inside or outside your circle who is going through a difficult time.

© Copyright 2017 Audrey Kletscher Helbling

 

You matter February 27, 2017

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sign-in-buckham-bathroom

 

THE IDEA SEEMS simple enough. Post a sign that will uplift and encourage others. Yet it was so unexpected, which pleased me even more.

I love discovering sweet surprises that make my day or shift my mood or restore my faith in the goodness of others.

Of all places, I spotted this sign in the women’s restroom at Buckham Memorial Library in Faribault. The pointing finger and the bold words, YOU MATTER, grabbed my attention as I stood drying my hands under a blower.

And although I didn’t tear off a slip of paper, I read the messages:

You are VALUABLE.

You have INFLUENCE.

You are APPRECIATED.

You are LOVED.

You are TALENTED.

You are AMAZING.

I noticed several messages missing. And I considered how those words of encouragement, of validation, of praise may have affected those who took those slips.

We need more of this in today’s crazy world. We need to shift the focus away from ourselves to caring for others. Genuinely caring. It doesn’t take much effort. Just a few words posted on a sign in a public restroom, a few kind words spoken or encouraging words written can change a person’s day. We all need to hear sometimes that we matter, that we are loved and valued.

TELL ME: What easy ideas do you have (or have you seen) to uplift others? I would love to hear.

Copyright 2017 Audrey Kletscher Helbling

 

Hoping on November 6, 2015

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My great niece Kiera painted this stone, which I got at a recent family reunion.

My great niece Kiera painted this stone, which sits on my office desk as a reminder of hope.

“HOPE IS A VERB.”

Thank you, Patty Wetterling, for reminding me of that when you spoke to the media this week. For 26 years, Patty and her husband, Jerry, and their family, plus an entire nation, have hoped for the safe return of their son, Jacob. The 11-year-old was abducted in October 1989 by a masked gunman near their St. Joseph, Minnesota, home. Last week law enforcement named a “person of interest” in the case.

Inspirational quotes posted on my desk, on the shelf above my desktop screen.

Inspirational quotes posted on my office desk include a quote by poet Emily Dickinson, right.

In January, I chose “hope” as my word for 2015, following the example of my sweet friend Beth Ann, who blogs at It’s Just Life.

Pulling out my thesaurus, I find these synonyms for the verb, hope: aim, intend, plan, have it in mind, aspire, expect, look for, wish for, want.

To that list I might add trusting, believing that things will get better.

Hope can be elusive when the stresses and challenges of life overwhelm. It is easy to lose hope if difficult situations persist, when burdens weigh heavy upon your heart and days.

But then I hear statements like “Hope is a verb,” spoken by a mother who long ago had every reason to give up hope. Yet, Patty Wetterling has endured, taken action and continued to hope for answers in the disappearance of her son.

During their statement to the media this week, the Wetterlings emphasized the importance of the community in sharing information to help solve the case. Community. The community of Minnesota and beyond has supported the Wetterlings through this entire horrible ordeal spanning more than a quarter of a century.

 

Hope logo

 

Support is essential. Without support, hope flounders. Locally, I need only consider Hope Center, which helps and supports victims/survivors of sexual assault and domestic violence. There’s that word, hope, centering the Center’s name.

We all need family and friends who have our backs during difficult times—listening, encouraging, praying for, being there without judging or thinking they have all the answers or putting the focus on themselves rather than your needs.

Songs of Hope performers present a selection from India.

Songs of Hope performers present a selection from India during a summer concert at River Bend Nature Center in Faribault. Minnesota Prairie Roots file photo 2014.

A year ago, I heard hope during a concert by Songs of Hope, a group of students from a St. Paul-based international performing arts summer camp. These singers from around the world performed with the enthusiasm of youth believing that world peace is possible. Their energy and passion showcased hope. Such positivity inspires hope.

Take in the details: the red and blue bench, the double front doors, the rock out front...

The Hope Post Office has closed since I took this photo several years ago.

In southern Minnesota, just off Interstate 35 south of Owatonna, you’ll find a small town named Hope. A place. A proper noun, not a verb.

Hope. Noun or verb. It’s a powerful word, if only we believe it to be. You can offer hope to others by listening, by giving of your time and talents and financial resources, by caring, by showing compassion, by simply being there. Hold a confidence entrusted to you. Check in with someone facing a difficult situation. Care. Emulate hope.

TELL ME, how do you offer hope or hold onto hope?

© Copyright 2015 Audrey Kletscher Helbling