
Perhaps we could learn something from owls, who have a superb sense of hearing. Minnesota Prairie Roots file photo.
THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU. How often have you thought that and wanted to tell someone:
This is not about your challenge or difficulty. This is about me, what I’m dealing with right now.
Me. See, the person you’re looking at, the person standing right in front of you, the person emailing you, the person calling you, the person you think you’re trying to help. But you’re not. You’ve shifted the focus to yourself. You.
This is not about you, your personal experience projected onto mine or the impact of my situation on you. This is about me. While I empathize that you, too, have dealt with your share of difficulties, now is not the time to talk about them. I don’t need that kind of “help.” I just need you to listen, to hold the unsolicited advice, to encourage, to simply be there. I don’t need to hear your story.
Because I strive for kindness, I usually hold those thoughts inside.
I’m not a self-centered person. In my life, I strive to be compassionate and caring. Like everyone, though, I fail at times.
But I am convinced that, with some effort, all of us can become better at caring for one another. And that begins with listening. I direct you to one of the best articles I’ve read on the topic:
http://articles.latimes.com/2013/apr/07/opinion/la-oe-0407-silk-ring-theory-20130407
It comes from a 2013 op-ed piece in the Los Angeles Times by Susan Silk, a clinical psychologist, and by Barry Goldman, an arbitrator, mediator and author. Titled “How not to say the wrong thing,” this article is a must-read for everyone. It may change the way you approach family and friends who are dealing with health issues, challenges, difficulties. The authors emphasize listening, really listening, and focusing not on yourself but rather the individual in need.
Please read the article and then share your thoughts.
TELL ME: How do you help friends, family and others through difficulties in life? How have you been helped? Let’s learn from one another.
FYI: Please note that my thoughts here come not only from personal experiences, but also from my observations of others. So when I use the words “I” and “me,” I’m referencing more than myself. I am grateful for the many genuinely loving and caring people in my life who truly know how to listen.
(H/T Hope Center Facebook page)
© Copyright 2016 Audrey Kletscher Helbling








































Symbolism from the banks of the North Branch of the Zumbro River December 1, 2016
Tags: commentary on judicial system, human behavior, life, Minnesota, opinion, Pine Island, Pine Island Trailhead Park, symbolism, thoughts, Zumbro River
THE NORTH BRANCH of the Zumbro River ripples Hamm’s beer Land of Sky Blue Waters blue toward Pine Island Trailhead Park.
Through bare branched trees, sunlight flashes diamonds across the water’s surface.
Light and darkness. Darkness and light. Intertwined, like good and evil.
Farther down, as the river bends, I stand on the trail head bridge appreciating water so clear I can see the sandy, pebbly bottom. Sand sculpted by water. A bird’s footprint. Clarity. If only life was so simple, so clear, so still. Free of that which pollutes.
I turn my attention momentarily away from the water to lines that shadow across the bridge deck. Lines like bars run the length of the pathway. So symbolic. Bars. They hold people in. They keep people safe. Yet they don’t when the system fails.
I peer through the bars that stop me from tumbling into the shallow water far below. Falling, falling, falling.
Between the bars, I see my mini shadow and that of my husband. Shadows so near the water’s edge I fear they may fall in.
The snake of the Zumbro slithers by, curving away until I can no longer see what lies beyond the bend. Beyond today.
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Note: I took these photos in October.
© Copyright 2016 Audrey Kletscher Helbling