Minnesota Prairie Roots

Writing and photography by Audrey Kletscher Helbling

For the love of homemade sausages, smoked meats and more April 19, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Audrey Kletscher Helbling @ 12:05 PM
Tags: , , ,

Pekarna's Meat Market, famous for homemade sausage, is a popular stop in historic downtown Jordan.

MINNESOTANS LOVE THEIR small-town meat markets.

In the Mankato/New Ulm area, Schmidt’s Meat Market draws locals and travelers alike off busy U.S. Highway 14 into its Old World shop in tiny Nicollet. Famous for its German style summer sausage, the meat market continues operation as a third-generation family business begun in 1947 by Gerhardt and Esther Schmidt.

Although I’ve never been to Schmidt’s, I’ve heard only great comments about the meat. The next time I head west, I’ll have to check out this popular stop.

In my area, Nerstrand Meats & Catering, in the even smaller town of Nerstrand—about 230 people compared to Nicollet’s 900—is the go-to place for meat. Here, the double smoke hams are the specialty at this fourth-generation family business founded in 1890.

I’ve eaten meat from the Nerstrand meat market and can attest to its outstanding flavor and quality.

The same goes for Pekarna’s Meat Market, another fourth-generation, family-owned business that I discovered while visiting Jordan in the southwest metro a month ago. Actually, I should credit my husband, Randy, for finding this delightful butcher shop/retail store. While I was wandering around looking at buildings in this historic Minnesota River town, he aimed straight for the meat market.

Current fourth-generation owner Greg Pekarna’s great grandfather started the business 117 years ago. It is clear to me that Pekarna’s has got a good thing going here, a conclusion I drew upon seeing the long line of customers waiting at the retail counter on a Thursday afternoon in late March.

Two customer favorites at Pekarna's Meat Market.

Customer favorites at Pekarna’s include smoked pork sausage, ring bologna and baby back ribs. Randy picked up brats and bacon. When I microwaved the bacon, I didn’t even have enough grease to sauté onions for the potato soup I was preparing. Now that’s something. As for the brats, I am not a brat fan, but Randy may convince me to try a Pekarna’s brat.

Greg Pekarna behind the counter at a meat market with old-fashioned, kitschy charm.

While at Pekarna’s I chatted a bit with Greg and his friendly employee Sandy Schmitz. I thought, initially, that they were the married co-owners. When I stated as such, the two burst into laughter and Greg joked that would not work, except he said this in stronger words which I won’t repeat here.

Speaking of words, I noticed two signs in German behind the meat counter: “Wilkommen Pekarna’s Meat” and “Jawohl Gute”

I asked for the English translation of Pekarna, assuming it is of German origin. Wrong. Perkarna means “bakery,” in Czech, Greg tells me. Like I said earlier, this guy has a sense of humor.

And like many small-town Minnesota butchers, Pekarna offers high-quality products and great customer service, trademarks that have allowed his business to survive and thrive for more than a century.

Have you discovered a great small-town meat market like Pekarna's Meat Market?

IF YOU HAVE a favorite small-town meat market, submit a comment to Minnesota Prairie Roots. Tell us why this is a favorite stop. Do you like the sausage, the brats, the bacon? Let’s hear your testaments to small, family-owned meat markets.

© Copyright 2010 Audrey Kletscher Helbling

 

An ode to spring April 18, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Audrey Kletscher Helbling @ 11:07 AM
Tags: , ,

Oh, Spring, how I love thee.

Let me count the ways.

I love thy alluring, unspoken promise

thy lips so red

thy beckoning, gentle as a first kiss

thy embrace, so tender.

I give my heart to thee

as we dance together, swaying in the wind

among lovers.

© Copyright 2010 Audrey Kletscher Helbling

Celebrate spring and April, National Poetry Month.

 

Chocolate bunny case was a hoax, police say April 17, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Audrey Kletscher Helbling @ 9:41 AM
Tags: , ,

Police identify this jacket, found in a Faribault park, as that of the missing chocolate bunny.

Breaking news…

In a stunning development today, authorities investigating the possible abduction of a chocolate bunny in Faribault say the entire incident was a hoax.

The woman who reported her rabbit missing has confessed to making up the story in an effort to attract attention to her writing, says Faribault Police Chief Dan McGregor. He refused to identify the Faribault writer because she has not been arrested.

A break in the case came when the woman’s husband approached police. “He told us he didn’t think his wife’s story was funny,” McGregor says. “He had gone along with the ploy, but was worried about the implications of falsely reporting a crime.”

McGregor confirms that the woman and her husband could face possible charges pending results of the investigation.

Investigators have determined that the woman’s husband made the initial threat against the chocolate bunny. They are still checking into whether the couple’s daughter was also involved in the hoax.

An unidentified police source verifies that the discovery of a shiny gold, ankle-length coat and floral necklace in a city park are that of the missing chocolate bunny. Forensics experts are now testing DNA samples taken from the clothing and the jewelry.

The source also states that it is likely the woman ate the chocolate bunny. If that proves true, he adds that she could be charged with eating too much chocolate in the weeks following Easter. She could also be charged with littering.

The woman, whom we are not identifying because she has not been arrested, released this statement through her attorney, Allen T. Urd: “I accept full responsibility for my actions and sincerely apologize to anyone, including my husband, who did not see the humor in this story. Sometimes my imagination carries me away, especially since I am a big fan of mystery books.

“I will also be seeking treatment for my chocolate addiction.”

© Copyright 2010 Audrey Kletscher Helbling

(Author’s note:  Any similarities between the above fictional blog post and reality may or may not be intentional.)

 

Should I hang laundry on the clothesline or not? April 16, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Audrey Kletscher Helbling @ 9:13 AM
Tags: ,

Raindrops on my hosta.

THURSDAY BROUGHT much-needed rain to our area.

But, in all truthfulness, the rainfall surprised me as evidenced by the freshly-laundered bath towels I hung on the clothesline.

On Monday, believing the predictions of rain, I dried my laundry in the dryer. Not a speck of moisture fell from the sky all day. I chastised myself for trusting the forecasters.

I would not be tricked again.

So Thursday morning, despite predictions of rain, I hung towels outdoors. Then, an hour later, I watched as rain fell, not just lightly, but steadily.

I left the towels there. When the rain ceased, I hauled the heavy, wet load inside, lugged the clothes basket down the basement stairs and then heaved the soggy pile into the dryer.

That was followed by two loads of laundered sheets.

Then, Thursday afternoon, the sun came out, bright and strong. The wind blew a steady, drying breeze across my backyard. Perfect clothes drying weather.

I chastised myself for acting too soon, for believing the rain would last all day.

© Copyright 2010 Audrey Kletscher Helbling

 

Investigators now think chocolate bunny was kidnapped April 15, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Audrey Kletscher Helbling @ 2:38 PM
Tags: , ,

LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICIALS investigating threats against a chocolate bunny in Faribault now report a possible abduction in the case.

Just this afternoon, the Faribault Police Department and the Minnesota Special Forces Unit issued a joint statement saying they found evidence that Zachary Rabbit has been kidnapped.

Police released this photo of an empty candy box linked to the disappearance. Investigators offered no details, but unidentified sources confirm the evidence was found in a backyard near Wapacuta Park.

Police released this photo showing evidence in the possible abduction of Zachary Rabbit.

While police remain mostly tight-lipped, Special Forces Unit Commander White Rabbit verifies that a third threat was received today via the internet. According to him, the text stated: “Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. You totally deserved it.”

Computer forensic experts have traced the message to an IP address in La Crosse, Wisconsin. Authorities there are now involved and the FBI has been contacted to aid in the investigation.

If you have any information on the whereabouts of Zachary Rabbit, who weighs two ounces and was last seen wearing a shiny gold, ankle-length coat and a floral necklace, contact your nearest law enforcement agency.

A recent photo of Zachary Rabbit.

© Copyright 2010 Audrey Kletscher Helbling

 

In celebration of National Poetry Month

Filed under: Uncategorized — Audrey Kletscher Helbling @ 9:02 AM
Tags: ,

My vintage bottle of April Showers Cologne, saved from the junk pile by my mom, who saves everything.

April Showers

The tarnished bottle cap

twists in my fingers,

harsh metal clanking against glass

as the top swirls,

and then

releases,

unleashing a shower

of childhood memories.

***

I lift the glass close,

breathe in the sweet fragrance

of April Showers Friction Cologne

through a hole no thicker than a pencil.

***

Decades have passed

since I splashed this alluring

scent upon my stick-thin wrists,

into the hollow of my slender neck,

masking the odors

of cows and manure.

***

Transformed, I became

more than a preadolescent farm girl,

more than a sister who shared a pink bedroom,

who left wads of chewed Bazooka bubble gum

stuck on the dresser top

next to the cheap, bottled cologne.

I was somebody

who smelled pretty

and fancied herself

as Cinderella.

***

All this I remember

as I run my fingers

along the glass,

feel the raised imprint

of flowers and letters,

gently swirl the inch of yellow-green liquid that,

like a magic potion,

transcends time.

I open my bottle of April Showers and breathe in memories from more than 40 years ago.

Poem by Audrey Kletscher Helbling, © Copyright 2010

Written in celebration of National Poetry Month in April. Watch for more poetry news in future blog posts.

 

Threats received against chocolate bunny April 14, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Audrey Kletscher Helbling @ 7:32 PM
Tags: ,

BREAKING NEWS…

Faribault police received a report late this afternoon from a hysterical woman claiming threats were made against her chocolate Easter bunny.

Police Chief Dan McGregor, who is investigating the case, says a male, identified only as “Randy,” delivered this message to the unidentified woman: “Chomp, chomp, chomp!”

McGregor is following up on leads and asks anyone with information to contact him.

The chief also confirms that the Faribault resident received a second menacing communication stating that her chocolate rabbit would be kidnapped.

He is taking that threat seriously and has called in the Special Forces Unit to deal with the situation. The commander of that unit is en route from southwestern Minnesota and should arrive in Faribault within the hour.

Commander White Rabbit, head of the Special Forces Unit, will aid Faribault police in their investigation.

© Copyright 2010 Audrey Kletscher Helbling

(See my previous post, “Do not bite the ears off my chocolate bunny,” for background information on the above story.)

 

Do not bite the ears off my chocolate bunny

Filed under: Uncategorized — Audrey Kletscher Helbling @ 7:53 AM
Tags: , ,

My foil-wrapped chocolate Easter bunny escapes to the backyard.

I WONDERED WHEN they would notice.

On Monday, more than a week after Easter, my two guys finally ask.

“When are you going to eat your chocolate bunny?” my 16-year-old son inquires as he dips into the Easter candy for an after-school snack.

“When are you going to eat your chocolate bunny?” my husband asks later, when we are dipping into the shared family candy after supper.

My answer to them is identical: “I’m strategizing,” I say. “I’m eating the other candy first because, when that’s gone, I’ll still have my chocolate bunny.” Smart, huh? Just to clarify, each member of my family gets his/her own foil-wrapped chocolate bunny treat for Easter.

“I thought you were testing your willpower,” my husband says, knowing all too well how much I love chocolate.

Even I am surprised that I haven’t at least nibbled on the rabbit’s ears.

But early on I determined that I would get more chocolate if I followed my well-thought-out plan of eating from the general family stash of candy before eating my very own chocolate.

So far, so good, I figure, unless, of course, one of the boys cannot resist temptation and bites off the bunny’s ears.

But I think they know better than to mess with a woman and her chocolate, especially this woman and her chocolate.

© Copyright 2010 Audrey Kletscher Helbling

 

The Case of the Lying Teen and the Hypocritical Mom April 13, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Audrey Kletscher Helbling @ 8:16 AM
Tags: , , ,

AS THE HANDS on the clock nudge closer to 11 p.m. Sunday, I feel my anxiety level rise.

What has been months in the planning is about to reach a dramatic conclusion.

But I am tired, exhausted really. And for the past hour or more, I have been fighting sleep. I want this all to end so I can go to bed.

Just another 30 minutes, I tell myself, and it will be done.

In the meantime, I need my 16-year-old son to get out of here.

“Caleb, stop reading and go to bed,” I strongly, emphatically, protectively suggest. “You have school tomorrow.”

He lifts his head, turns from the pages of his book to look at me.

“You hypocrite,” he accuses.

I can’t argue with that other than to say that I’m the mom and I don’t have school tomorrow and if I want to stay up late and finish reading a thrilling mystery, I can.

Before my boy heads off to bed, he leans in to hug me. “Where’s your book?” I ask, noting that his science fiction anthology, The Starry Rift, Tales of New Tomorrows edited by Jonathan Strahan, is not on the couch or anywhere in my view.

He smiles a lying grin. “It’s in my backpack,” he says, his smile growing bigger.

I know better.

But what can I say? I am a hypocrite.

Deadly Stillwater by Roger Stelljes

As he heads upstairs, I turn back to my book, Deadly Stillwater by Twin Cities writer Roger Stelljes. The police are hot on the trail of the kidnappers.

This story line is not calming me. I am, in fact, becoming more agitated with each flip of a page.

I close the book.

I need my sleep.

The police will just have to wait until morning to solve this crime. And they do, before noon.

Now it’s Tuesday morning, and my teen is hurrying downstairs for breakfast. I spy a book tucked in the crook of his arm.

“Were you reading last night?” I ask.

“Maybe,” he answers. At least he’s not flat out lying this time.

“Do you have those tests today?” I inquire, referring to the Minnesota Comprehensive Assessment tests.

“Yeah, reading,” he says.

“Then you shouldn’t have stayed up late,” I admonish.

“I was practicing,” he shoots back.

© Copyright 2010 Audrey Kletscher Helbling

 

The proper Minnesota Jell-O April 12, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Audrey Kletscher Helbling @ 11:00 AM
Tags: , ,

My friend Kristin made peach Jell-O in a pan.

IN MINNESOTA, WE have hotdish. Not casseroles.

We have lutefisk and lefse and food-on-a-stick.

And then we have Jell-O.

Truly, I thought Jell-O was a thing of the past, even in Minnesota.

But Kristin proved me wrong. She brought a pan of gelatin to Family Game Night at Trinity Lutheran Church on Saturday.

I’ve seen Jell-O made in bowls—even layered in bowls—and shaped into shapes in molds. I’ve seen Jell-O elevated to a plate of honor during a production of How to Talk Minnesotan at the Plymouth Playhouse. But I’ve never seen gelatin in a glass cake pan.

But Kristin, the theatrical type, proved that Minnesotans can get creative with their Jell-O by thinking outside the box inside the box (er, cake pan).

She even stirred peaches into her peach Jell-O and topped it with the ultimate in Jell-O toppings—marshmallows.

And then, sin of sins, she cut the thickened concoction into squares. Doesn’t she know that Minnesotans, or maybe it’s just Lutherans, prefer to dish up their Jell-O with a spoon? We are not the show-off type, you know, serving up fancy Jell-O squares.

But Kristin, as I suggested, fails to conform to conformity. She sometimes makes cranberry Jell-O and adds cranberries.

Did you know Jell-O comes in cranberry flavoring? I didn’t. I thought the flavors were strawberry, strawberry and strawberry.

Did you know, too, that you can actually ruin Jell-O? My friend confessed that she once did just that by adding too much water.

Oh, Kristin, Kristin, Kristin. Perhaps you should stick with the old standby Minnesota Jell-O recipe: Add sliced bananas to partially-thickened strawberry Jell-O.

If you want to get creative, top your bowl full (not pan full) of Jell-O with Cool Whip.

But for gosh sakes, Kristin, please serve your potluck Jell-O with a spoon, not some fancy serving utensil.

A slice of Kristin's peach Jell-O.

DO YOU HAVE ANY interesting stories to share about Jell-O? I’d love to hear yours. So submit a comment to Minnesota Prairie Roots, even if you are a conservative Minnesota Lutheran.

© Copyright 2010 Audrey Kletscher Helbling