ONCE UPON A TIME in The Land of Plenty, there lived a ruler who, before he took office, declared that he would be king for a day, or some such wordage. He relished power and absolute control with the zeal of a kid unleashed in a candy store. Except even kids in a candy shop realize they can’t devour every piece of sticky taffy, every morsel of chocolate, every jelly bean in sight. Their stomachs would hurt. And they would soon be barfing all over the kingdom.
But the narcissistic leader, who promised to make the country the best it had ever been (because he craved praise and power), apparently did not understand this about consuming too much candy. Or he didn’t care. Once in office, the-man-who-would-be-king gathered his team, granting unfettered powers to one of them in particular. He pulled out his guidebook and magical pen and scrawled his signature across endless pieces of paper imprinted with orders to create an even more wonderful and efficient Land of Plenty, at least in his eyes. Such was his insatiable desire for adoration, domination and control. His plan to become king for a day extended well beyond a day into mindless infinity.
He proposed acquiring more land to add to his empire, focusing his efforts on the countries of Adanac and Dnalneerg, both of which wanted nothing to do with him, understandably so. But that didn’t stop the ruler from obsessing on the topic, for he was a determined man. Do this. Do that. Say this. Say that. Toss out an endless stream of threats and vitriol and perhaps some of it would stick like gum to the bottom of a shoe.
On and on it went. Each day something new. More taxes, which he called “tariffs” and a good thing for his subjects. He advised those who farmed the land to “have fun.” He fooled no one (OK, maybe some too many) with his spin on tariffs. Mass firings, deportations, funding cuts, closures and more (too many actions to count really) happened daily under the ruler’s authoritarian hand.
If anyone protested, spoke up or voiced opposition, the ruthless leader worked to quiet them. There were street snatchings and threats. Intimidation. Disrespect. Denial. Deflection. Distraction. Lies. Verbal attacks. He used all sorts of tactics to create fear, to suppress anyone who disagreed with him, his team and his/their words and actions. That included bullying the printers, lawyers and judges of the land, calling them all sorts of derogatory names. He threatened to come after them, to silence them, to show them who held the power. Sometimes he succeeded, sometimes not.
Yet, one plan appealed to the unsuspecting masses. And that was the opening of more candy stores, with promises to give away millions, perhaps even billions, of pounds of candy. To qualify, subjects needed only to sign an irrevocable loyalty pledge, which seemed reasonable on the surface. But there’s always the fine print. They would need to agree with the mighty ruler’s ideology and actions or risk losing four years of a free candy supply or, worse yet, be locked up for rebellious attitudes or other so-called subversive acts. If the subjects looked even closer at the fine print, they would see that candy shops were forbidden from carrying chocolate. Surely that would be the deal breaker for most because, well, who doesn’t love chocolate? All candy, in fact, was to be colorless.
But most failed to read the fine print, so focused were they on a four-year supply of free candy. Such a sweet deal. They trusted that the ruler had their best interests in mind. He didn’t. Even kids understand that too much candy can cause a tummy ache that leaves them regretting their selfish gluttony.
This, my friends, is no April Fool’s Day joke.
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FYI: While this short story is written as fiction, it is (as is most fiction) rooted in truth. It is also a commentary, a way for me to use my voice. Whether you agree or disagree with the content is your prerogative and right. Just note, though, that this is my personal blog and that I moderate all comments and have the final say in those I choose to publish or not.
© Copyright 2025 Audrey Kletscher Helbling
Minnesota Prairie Roots 
Commentary: 100 days in & he’s talking dolls May 2, 2025
Tags: America, fiction, opinion, political commentary, short story, The Land of Plenty, thoughts
ONCE UPON A TIME in The Land of Plenty there lived a ruler who, once he took office, commenced to ruthlessly flaunt his authority (which fits, given his self-proclaimed ruler status). He really didn’t care what he said or did as long as it fit his agenda to make his kingdom—more precisely himself—great. The forceful leader promised that the “golden age” of Acirema would start on the day he assumed power. Perhaps he was referencing the opulent gold décor in his redecorated palace office.
The ruler gathered his team of loyalists and followers, assuring them that as long as they followed his plans, his instructions, his actions, his orders, he would reward them, or at least keep them out of the dungeon. Threats and intimidation have a way of instilling self-preservation and obedience.
But not everyone much cared for the self-centered leader or his policies. They never fell under his spell, his control. They were willing to stand up to him, question him, even at the risk of raising his ire. Or worse. They began to rise up and challenge him and his underlings. That didn’t sit well with the ruler. I mean, how would you like the courts calling you out, gray-haired ladies protesting, students criticizing you in schoolyards? Nope, can’t have that happening in Acirema. Never mind that The Land of Plenty was a land of freedom, of laws, of due process, of balanced powers. Or at least it was before the authoritarian ruler took over.
A JOB REVIEW 100 DAYS IN
And so, 100 days into his reign, the ruler underwent a job review of sorts. Job reviews held no sway with him, although he should have understood their importance based on his previous experiences as a land baron who banished many a worker. Whatever. He was above everyone. All of them. He didn’t believe multiple reports of his declining popularity. He was doing a great job, he proclaimed. Great! And that was that. Don’t tell him otherwise for fear of being branded a liar. Or worse, banished from the kingdom. Just nod and agree that everything is going great and the ruler would call you a friend rather than a foe.
But you can only push people so far before they break and stop believing you, if they ever did in the first place. And many in the kingdom never did take this man at his word. He had a habit of distorting the truth, in other words lying. Now name-calling is not nice. But truth is truth.
BULLYING AND BLAMING
Many in the kingdom were weary of the bullying coming from the palace. No one likes a bully. No one likes decrees that harm, rather than help, the kingdom. When the ruler levied new taxes on goods, promising to enrich his subjects, many did not believe him. (It should be noted that some—too many—still believed him.) He urged patience and calm as anger rose both inside and outside the kingdom. The ruler had upset the marketplace apple cart. Yet, he would hear none of the verbal resistance. As was his usual reaction, he blamed the previous overseer of The Land of Plenty for the rising costs of food and for marketplace shortages. “It was him, not me!” the ruler shouted. He used that blame tactic often.
2 DOLLS, 30 DOLLS, 900 DOLLS
But then he said something that deeply upset his subjects. “Well, maybe the children will have two dolls instead of 30 dolls,” the ruler responded when asked about rising prices and marketplace shortages. Outrage ensued. Thirty dolls? It was then that the people of the kingdom realized how disconnected the leader was from reality. Many of them now lived in poverty due to his policies. Their children had no dolls, unless you counted those crafted from corn cobs. The ruler’s grandchildren, however, had an entire playroom filled with imported dolls. Lovely dolls. Thirty times thirty. That’s 900 if you’re counting.
By this time the citizens of The Land of Plenty were counting only one thing—the number of days until they could vote in a new leader of Acirema. If that would even be an option. If they weren’t all banished. If they still had a country.
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NOTE: While this is a fictional story, it is rooted in truth. Feel free to leave a comment, understanding that I moderate all comments on this, my personal blog.
© Copyright 2025 Audrey Kletscher Helbling